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04-04-2024, 02:40 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
I had been an emotional support dog for a lawyer (she is my senior) in my firm. basically it is her trauma dumping on me for hours every week (ask me to listen to her personal problems, come to get her when she gets depressed over ridiculous relationship, stay back to comfort her) to the point I got fed up. this is out of my job scope.
after I left I gradually cut off contact and straightaway ghosted her. now I am having second thoughts -seniors with similar experiences - do you guys think it is the right move?
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I also have a senior like that. I cut off after giving it 2 weeks. Everybody has their own lives to live. Focus on your own life. What I found out is that people like them are very selfish! Put your own needs first!
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04-04-2024, 10:26 AM
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Got called to the bar, joined a small law firm with starting pay 5k+, boss was micromanaging me, gaslighting me, did not provide what he promised me during the interview (area of practice etc and case files etc), was not given proper guidance, and had to work 7 day work weeks for 5 consecutive weeks.
On the 6th week, I was able to go out with my parents once and I planned a full day outing with them just to spend time with family. I got called by my boss at 9am asking if I could come to the office to do work again. I told him that I was out then and can come to the office at night if absolutely necessary. He hung up and called me again at 12pm when I was having lunch with my parents. I told him I was still out and he said, I quote, "you have already been out with them for 3 hours". This was after 5 weeks of 7 day work week and on a weekend nonetheless.
I immediately tendered my resignation on Monday and he came to talk to me, offered me a pay raise and apologized for all the abovementioned and asked me to consider staying. I said I would think about it and get back to him the next day. (I did not think about it, I just wanted him to take the time to reflect on his attitude). I told him the next day that I was not intending to stay and he immediately said that he withdrew his apology because it was my fault for misleading him on that weekend by not telling him that I was out with my parents and made him assume that I was free to come to the office to work.
That short period of time in that firm felt like forever. I have now moved in house and everyone is an angel. pay wise took a small cut but believe me, even if the pay cut was even bigger than it is, I would still take it. Have never been happier. I now can do whatever the hell I want with my free time, I am respected at work, am not being gaslighted and do not have to walk on eggshells.
Just writing this post to let people know how toxic the work environment in law firms can be especially if they are led by boomers who think your entire life revolves around them because they pay you a measly salary (which you are completely entitled to given the amount of billables you bring in for them).
I recently heard from an ex-colleague that said boss is struggling to find a new associate who can tolerate him. For new grads/newly called to the bar juniors, please do your research on the attrition rate at the firm before signing the contract. On hindsight, I should have recognised the red flags when the predecessors/legal execs/paralegals resigned 2-3 weeks after joining.
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04-04-2024, 10:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
Got called to the bar, joined a small law firm with starting pay 5k+, boss was micromanaging me, gaslighting me, did not provide what he promised me during the interview (area of practice etc and case files etc), was not given proper guidance, and had to work 7 day work weeks for 5 consecutive weeks.
On the 6th week, I was able to go out with my parents once and I planned a full day outing with them just to spend time with family. I got called by my boss at 9am asking if I could come to the office to do work again. I told him that I was out then and can come to the office at night if absolutely necessary. He hung up and called me again at 12pm when I was having lunch with my parents. I told him I was still out and he said, I quote, "you have already been out with them for 3 hours". This was after 5 weeks of 7 day work week and on a weekend nonetheless.
I immediately tendered my resignation on Monday and he came to talk to me, offered me a pay raise and apologized for all the abovementioned and asked me to consider staying. I said I would think about it and get back to him the next day. (I did not think about it, I just wanted him to take the time to reflect on his attitude). I told him the next day that I was not intending to stay and he immediately said that he withdrew his apology because it was my fault for misleading him on that weekend by not telling him that I was out with my parents and made him assume that I was free to come to the office to work.
That short period of time in that firm felt like forever. I have now moved in house and everyone is an angel. pay wise took a small cut but believe me, even if the pay cut was even bigger than it is, I would still take it. Have never been happier. I now can do whatever the hell I want with my free time, I am respected at work, am not being gaslighted and do not have to walk on eggshells.
Just writing this post to let people know how toxic the work environment in law firms can be especially if they are led by boomers who think your entire life revolves around them because they pay you a measly salary (which you are completely entitled to given the amount of billables you bring in for them).
I recently heard from an ex-colleague that said boss is struggling to find a new associate who can tolerate him. For new grads/newly called to the bar juniors, please do your research on the attrition rate at the firm before signing the contract. On hindsight, I should have recognised the red flags when the predecessors/legal execs/paralegals resigned 2-3 weeks after joining.
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Very common nowadays, glad to hear that you are out of that toxic environment.
4 PQE here, i only survived the harsh work place and working hours because I had good colleagues and seniors to vent my frustrations to and from the good advice they gave me in scenarios I could never fathom of.
Am getting base 12k+ right now so its not that high but given the situation, I can call myself lucky that I am have a decent team to work in and do not have to bend over backwards for boomers.
Wish you the best in your in house role. Pay is nothing if you do not have time to spend it.
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04-04-2024, 05:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
Got called to the bar, joined a small law firm with starting pay 5k+, boss was micromanaging me, gaslighting me, did not provide what he promised me during the interview (area of practice etc and case files etc), was not given proper guidance, and had to work 7 day work weeks for 5 consecutive weeks.
On the 6th week, I was able to go out with my parents once and I planned a full day outing with them just to spend time with family. I got called by my boss at 9am asking if I could come to the office to do work again. I told him that I was out then and can come to the office at night if absolutely necessary. He hung up and called me again at 12pm when I was having lunch with my parents. I told him I was still out and he said, I quote, "you have already been out with them for 3 hours". This was after 5 weeks of 7 day work week and on a weekend nonetheless.
I immediately tendered my resignation on Monday and he came to talk to me, offered me a pay raise and apologized for all the abovementioned and asked me to consider staying. I said I would think about it and get back to him the next day. (I did not think about it, I just wanted him to take the time to reflect on his attitude). I told him the next day that I was not intending to stay and he immediately said that he withdrew his apology because it was my fault for misleading him on that weekend by not telling him that I was out with my parents and made him assume that I was free to come to the office to work.
That short period of time in that firm felt like forever. I have now moved in house and everyone is an angel. pay wise took a small cut but believe me, even if the pay cut was even bigger than it is, I would still take it. Have never been happier. I now can do whatever the hell I want with my free time, I am respected at work, am not being gaslighted and do not have to walk on eggshells.
Just writing this post to let people know how toxic the work environment in law firms can be especially if they are led by boomers who think your entire life revolves around them because they pay you a measly salary (which you are completely entitled to given the amount of billables you bring in for them).
I recently heard from an ex-colleague that said boss is struggling to find a new associate who can tolerate him. For new grads/newly called to the bar juniors, please do your research on the attrition rate at the firm before signing the contract. On hindsight, I should have recognised the red flags when the predecessors/legal execs/paralegals resigned 2-3 weeks after joining.
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Please say who this boss/firm is. It is an anonymous forum and you would be doing us all a favour.
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04-04-2024, 06:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
Got called to the bar, joined a small law firm with starting pay 5k+, boss was micromanaging me, gaslighting me, did not provide what he promised me during the interview (area of practice etc and case files etc), was not given proper guidance, and had to work 7 day work weeks for 5 consecutive weeks.
On the 6th week, I was able to go out with my parents once and I planned a full day outing with them just to spend time with family. I got called by my boss at 9am asking if I could come to the office to do work again. I told him that I was out then and can come to the office at night if absolutely necessary. He hung up and called me again at 12pm when I was having lunch with my parents. I told him I was still out and he said, I quote, "you have already been out with them for 3 hours". This was after 5 weeks of 7 day work week and on a weekend nonetheless.
I immediately tendered my resignation on Monday and he came to talk to me, offered me a pay raise and apologized for all the abovementioned and asked me to consider staying. I said I would think about it and get back to him the next day. (I did not think about it, I just wanted him to take the time to reflect on his attitude). I told him the next day that I was not intending to stay and he immediately said that he withdrew his apology because it was my fault for misleading him on that weekend by not telling him that I was out with my parents and made him assume that I was free to come to the office to work.
That short period of time in that firm felt like forever. I have now moved in house and everyone is an angel. pay wise took a small cut but believe me, even if the pay cut was even bigger than it is, I would still take it. Have never been happier. I now can do whatever the hell I want with my free time, I am respected at work, am not being gaslighted and do not have to walk on eggshells.
Just writing this post to let people know how toxic the work environment in law firms can be especially if they are led by boomers who think your entire life revolves around them because they pay you a measly salary (which you are completely entitled to given the amount of billables you bring in for them).
I recently heard from an ex-colleague that said boss is struggling to find a new associate who can tolerate him. For new grads/newly called to the bar juniors, please do your research on the attrition rate at the firm before signing the contract. On hindsight, I should have recognised the red flags when the predecessors/legal execs/paralegals resigned 2-3 weeks after joining.
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Did you study local or overseas? Don’t mind me asking
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04-04-2024, 07:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
I also have a senior like that. I cut off after giving it 2 weeks. Everybody has their own lives to live. Focus on your own life. What I found out is that people like them are very selfish! Put your own needs first!
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I tolerated her close to a year. I even cut off contact with our mutual colleagues whom I actually like cos i do not want any relationship with her outside of work lol
knnccb told me to help her take slippers from office cos she wearing heels and her feet hurts. it is just a ****ing short distance like a 5 minute walk. it is very hard to say no cos if u think about it it is a very simple request. but when ur colleagues see it they will think you are a kissass.
listen to her always saying she is a lady of class and never failing to mention about her affluent family background and talk about her self inflicted problems all in the same vein.
if u r reading this I just want to say you are ****ing annoying and idgaf about ur ****ing problems lol
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04-04-2024, 07:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
Got called to the bar, joined a small law firm with starting pay 5k+, boss was micromanaging me, gaslighting me, did not provide what he promised me during the interview (area of practice etc and case files etc), was not given proper guidance, and had to work 7 day work weeks for 5 consecutive weeks.
On the 6th week, I was able to go out with my parents once and I planned a full day outing with them just to spend time with family. I got called by my boss at 9am asking if I could come to the office to do work again. I told him that I was out then and can come to the office at night if absolutely necessary. He hung up and called me again at 12pm when I was having lunch with my parents. I told him I was still out and he said, I quote, "you have already been out with them for 3 hours". This was after 5 weeks of 7 day work week and on a weekend nonetheless.
I immediately tendered my resignation on Monday and he came to talk to me, offered me a pay raise and apologized for all the abovementioned and asked me to consider staying. I said I would think about it and get back to him the next day. (I did not think about it, I just wanted him to take the time to reflect on his attitude). I told him the next day that I was not intending to stay and he immediately said that he withdrew his apology because it was my fault for misleading him on that weekend by not telling him that I was out with my parents and made him assume that I was free to come to the office to work.
That short period of time in that firm felt like forever. I have now moved in house and everyone is an angel. pay wise took a small cut but believe me, even if the pay cut was even bigger than it is, I would still take it. Have never been happier. I now can do whatever the hell I want with my free time, I am respected at work, am not being gaslighted and do not have to walk on eggshells.
Just writing this post to let people know how toxic the work environment in law firms can be especially if they are led by boomers who think your entire life revolves around them because they pay you a measly salary (which you are completely entitled to given the amount of billables you bring in for them).
I recently heard from an ex-colleague that said boss is struggling to find a new associate who can tolerate him. For new grads/newly called to the bar juniors, please do your research on the attrition rate at the firm before signing the contract. On hindsight, I should have recognised the red flags when the predecessors/legal execs/paralegals resigned 2-3 weeks after joining.
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Don’t mind me asking, are you from local or foreign Uni?
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04-04-2024, 08:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
I tolerated her close to a year. I even cut off contact with our mutual colleagues whom I actually like cos i do not want any relationship with her outside of work lol
knnccb told me to help her take slippers from office cos she wearing heels and her feet hurts. it is just a ****ing short distance like a 5 minute walk. it is very hard to say no cos if u think about it it is a very simple request. but when ur colleagues see it they will think you are a kissass.
listen to her always saying she is a lady of class and never failing to mention about her affluent family background and talk about her self inflicted problems all in the same vein.
if u r reading this I just want to say you are ****ing annoying and idgaf about ur ****ing problems lol
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So much bravado but no b**ls to name the perpetuator on an anonymous forum. No wonder got asked to carry slippers. Tsk.
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04-04-2024, 09:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
I tolerated her close to a year. I even cut off contact with our mutual colleagues whom I actually like cos i do not want any relationship with her outside of work lol
knnccb told me to help her take slippers from office cos she wearing heels and her feet hurts. it is just a ****ing short distance like a 5 minute walk. it is very hard to say no cos if u think about it it is a very simple request. but when ur colleagues see it they will think you are a kissass.
listen to her always saying she is a lady of class and never failing to mention about her affluent family background and talk about her self inflicted problems all in the same vein.
if u r reading this I just want to say you are ****ing annoying and idgaf about ur ****ing problems lol
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Lol. Sounds exactly like my former boss. Congratulations on not being an emotional tampon for people lime her. Being too nice is very painful. Learn from this mistake and never make it again. I hope I don't too
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04-04-2024, 09:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
Did you study local or overseas? Don’t mind me asking
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Does it matter? The legal industry operates on who you know, not what you know.
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