Just started my first full-time job, no friends at work does it spell disaster?

[lazyplane]

Originally Posted by Lincoln88

Manager bias is the worst thing to tolerate and I personally experienced it before when I was working in McDonald as a school holiday job. Purposely don't let me learn new things and forever make me do the lobby kind of work like collecting trays, empty the rubbish then the other new staffs get all the chances to advance. Later when I reported this to the restaurant managers I felt great when I see those manages get scolding, I quitted after that.

How you explain to your next interviewer about your short stay in the company you left?

I'm actually thinking of leaving already but staying on because right now I'm just outcast but not so bad to the extend that I felt bullied or got bad remarks. In fact I gotten feedback and they feel that my performance is good just that the way I communicate to them is weird thus not able to click with the team.

Just because I don't click with them then I'm consider weird. I never encounter such thing before in all my previous work place, I just feel that our character and topics just doesn't fit that's all and not because I'm weird.

There are so many different kinds of people in this world and definitely there will be people you can't get along or just couldn't chit-chat with but I don't see them as weird.

Seem like I'm so much younger but actually look at things wider than them.

lets get some facts straight
a. u been in the company 3 months
b. u feel u dont fit in
c. u compare your current workplace against your part time jobs like macdonalds.
d. u felt great when u told one of the managers ie macdonalds i think , that u had more to contribute and was not learning enough..but left anyway after passing your contribution remark

ask yourself
why should your colleagues "love" to spend time with you when u have been there only 3 months ?

why do you think your performance is good

why should anyone want to share secrets with you ?

why do u even compare this full time work place with your part time environment ?

Dude...u r quite bright and i think you percevied your work to be not challenging enough and want to take up more responsibility, etc etc.. i think your problem is reflective of many new grads in singapore. but as i shared with my staff, ask yourself before you shoot out some obvious solution or question that can seemingly save the "world".... do u think the rest of r stupid ? or is it more likely u did not see the bigger picture in play

[jobhunter]

I told the interviewer that my current job is too specialized and would like a wider job scope to advance my career.

When we've worked long enough, we will know how to play the politics game according to different cultures and working environment of the company. I have seen enough of some long service staff who like to throw their weight around thinking they are too good and valuable to the company so can talk in snobbish manner. But most importantly your direct superior should not outcast you, otherwise no point staying in the company.

Do you "Feel" unfair?

The only way to prove that "feel" is to go out and find a better offer... until than its just your "feeling"

[Lincoln88]

I don't know which WAR ZONE you guys working at where there is so much office politics going on but I have to let you all know I doubt there is any politics going on at my work place.

I did make some mistakes before but my colleagues also never sabo, instead helped me to explain to my manger. Sometimes I own up the mistakes myself and my manager also never scold anything, just laugh a bit and tell me to be careful next time.

Till now I never see my managers scolded anyone when the rest made their mistakes.

My managers even know the parents of my senior by person. Sometimes my colleagues and my managers will visit each other house on weekend to hang-out.

I'm trying to join in because my direct manager and my senior already get along very well with them plus I also want to get into the fun.

Actually I'm glad that I still can get along well, chit-chat and joke with my senior and also some other colleagues from a different team as well as people from another department.


having a elitist mentality like "I'm so much younger but actually look at things wider than them." is not healthy

That statement is only pinpoint to the area where they made the remark on I'm weird because I can't can't click with them. It is not the whole of my mentality.


why should your colleagues "love" to spend time with you when u have been there only 3 months ?

Ans: I know 3 months is still short and they barely know me enough to spend time with me but that is not the point when I say how they could get together on weekend! I'm just saying it to describe how good their boding is.

why do you think your performance is good

Ans: I heard it straight from the horse's mouth, he even praised me as a smart guy.

why should anyone want to share secrets with you ?

Ans: Simply because I'm part of the team and I'm one of their members they should trust.

why do u even compare this full time work place with your part time environment ?

Ans: I don't know why you can't seem to see all the correct point I'm trying to bring out. I'M COMPARING THIS IS BECAUSE I WANT TO TELL PEOPLE THAT I'M A NORMAL GUY AND CAN GET ALONG WELL WITH PEOPLE.

[Lincoln88]

I would appreciate more if the 'teachers' here can at least give useful advise and stop giving me criticisms and QUESTIONS because it is not helping me.

[Lincoln88]

Originally Posted by jobhunter

I told the interviewer that my current job is too specialized and would like a wider job scope to advance my career.

When we've worked long enough, we will know how to play the politics game according to different cultures and working environment of the company. I have seen enough of some long service staff who like to throw their weight around thinking they are too good and valuable to the company so can talk in snobbish manner. But most importantly your direct superior should not outcast you, otherwise no point staying in the company.

My relationship with them now is only 'neutral' so when it comes to work we have no problem doing it together. The outcast is only at those things that is outside work like fun stuffs, sometimes lunch, dinner after work or hang-out at colleague's house during weekend.

[Lincoln88]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Do you "Feel" unfair?

The only way to prove that "feel" is to go out and find a better offer... until than its just your "feeling"

Nope, no feeling of 'unfair' yet so I think still alright to stay there. If there is I will definitely leave without second thoughts.

[haiz1234]

Respect is earned when you give respect to others...
No matter how senior u are and entering a new Organisation you are always in ppl's topic. Because everyone gossips, who doesn't?
Welcome to corporate world... Even in stat board, there are people over your head, vying and wayanging... Sometimes it's a skill to wayang if you realize..

Example: when yr boss go home... U have to stay late..to finish work, how to make your boss know u are working late? By sending email late at night, by claiming cab fare after 9pm usually etc.. Silent worker doesn't get paid handsomely, but then again due to office politics and seniority priority, u can Nv climb when someone is in front of u blocking your way...

First few months Nv easy for me either, it's those small talks, pantry talk by asking personal questions like where u stay, u look busy, small jokes, I realize u like to wear blar blar colour.. It's hard but must try..

You are living lala land if you are childish enough to think there is no politics going on at your workplace. Most likely you are so dense and amateur you dun even realize what is going on. You kana label as weired and ostracized is classic example. People gossip, backstab, bootlick, form alliance, ostracize threats all the time in any organization, be humble and learn to listen and you will realize the underlying currents.

If you refuse to acknowledge this fact of life and only know how to kpkb and compare to the good old days in school, then feel free to go back to a piece meal holiday job and forget about building a career.

Experienced forumers here are already giving you advice which is roughly as follows:

1) LLST and stay for at least 1 year
2) Cut down on that I am younger but smarter attitude, pretend to look stupid if needed to build rapport
3) Start learning to play politics, wayang, make small talk and get into good books with boss/colleagues
4) Have a adapting attitude and stop thinking like school boy, everybody friend friend, help & trust each other, get along and be happy, it's a harsh world out there

What else do you want? Everyone to join you in scolding how your co, boss, colleague sux? Jeez this is pathetic. You are seriously mistaken if you think you can fix everything by changing job, the one that needs fixing is you.

I don't understand what is TS problem here. He admit his boss treat him ok and his colleagues never insult him or dump all the work on him, just think he is weird and don't like to treat him as friend. Sounds ok, so what is the problem? Is TS there to make money or make friends? He work in company or community centre?