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Is this toxic work culture?

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Old 14-12-2020, 12:29 AM
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Unhappy Is this toxic work culture?

So it was my mistake on for being late to office on a Saturday for a webinar. It could have been done in our respective homes but the board member who was going to help us/volunteered to help us present wanted us to be physically there to help her prep as well.

I was still 1 hour early for it so there was definitely time to help prep. (Help to log into zoom + set up portable light...yes giving service was not in my JD but has been so of late)

Sure I could have left my home earlier but I wasn’t able to get a grab in time cause no one wanted to accept my grab request. When I met my board member who was there on time she firmly admonished me with a side eye and went, ‘Weren’t you supposed to reach at (time)? I won’t tolerate you being 25 minutes late *finger pointing����+ firm voice*’
Of course I acknowledged that I was late and apologised but I couldn’t rectify it except continue to prep.

She then admonished again when my direct superior (she came in 5mins after the board member arrived) came in with the same tone, and my superior could only cast her gaze downwards silently.

Is this toxic? I felt like I was a service crew and had not served her well. Is this throw-letter worthy? Felt like I was also used for her to show her prowess and that her time needs to be respected. Sigh..or is this one of those incidents where you just accept these kinda flex/emotional abuse to get your next paycheck to survive?

Context: Board Member agreed last minute/one day before that she was going to present the webinar which I had been tasked and had prepped for about a week. I arrived one hour before her presentation. This is an all-women workplace and board members (also women) are treated like esteemed beings and our working-level presence is unworthy of them.


Last edited by Safeworkplacespls; 14-12-2020 at 12:31 AM. Reason: To add more info
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Old 14-12-2020, 12:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Safeworkplacespls View Post
So it was my mistake on for being late to office on a Saturday for a webinar. It could have been done in our respective homes but the board member who was going to help us/volunteered to help us present wanted us to be physically there to help her prep as well.

I was still 1 hour early for it so there was definitely time to help prep. (Help to log into zoom + set up portable light...yes giving service was not in my JD but has been so of late)

Sure I could have left my home earlier but I wasn’t able to get a grab in time cause no one wanted to accept my grab request. When I met my board member who was there on time she firmly admonished me with a side eye and went, ‘Weren’t you supposed to reach at (time)? I won’t tolerate you being 25 minutes late *finger pointing����+ firm voice*’
Of course I acknowledged that I was late and apologised but I couldn’t rectify it except continue to prep.

She then admonished again when my direct superior (she came in 5mins after the board member arrived) came in with the same tone, and my superior could only cast her gaze downwards silently.

Is this toxic? I felt like I was a service crew and had not served her well. Is this throw-letter worthy? Felt like I was also used for her to show her prowess and that her time needs to be respected. Sigh..or is this one of those incidents where you just accept these kinda flex/emotional abuse to get your next paycheck to survive?

Context: Board Member agreed last minute/one day before that she was going to present the webinar which I had been tasked and had prepped for about a week. I arrived one hour before her presentation. This is an all-women workplace and board members (also women) are treated like esteemed beings and our working-level presence is unworthy of them.
Yes it is toxic, idk how to advice you on whether to resign or not. (Personally I will try to let such superiors not affect me mentally until I really buey tahan). I feel they just want to feel good about their authoritative power in the end...

Most importantly I will take it as a learning lesson to not be like one of them in the future and to always deal with compassion even to my interns

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Old 14-12-2020, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Safeworkplacespls View Post
So it was my mistake on for being late to office on a Saturday for a webinar. It could have been done in our respective homes but the board member who was going to help us/volunteered to help us present wanted us to be physically there to help her prep as well.

I was still 1 hour early for it so there was definitely time to help prep. (Help to log into zoom + set up portable light...yes giving service was not in my JD but has been so of late)

Sure I could have left my home earlier but I wasn’t able to get a grab in time cause no one wanted to accept my grab request. When I met my board member who was there on time she firmly admonished me with a side eye and went, ‘Weren’t you supposed to reach at (time)? I won’t tolerate you being 25 minutes late *finger pointing����+ firm voice*’
Of course I acknowledged that I was late and apologised but I couldn’t rectify it except continue to prep.

She then admonished again when my direct superior (she came in 5mins after the board member arrived) came in with the same tone, and my superior could only cast her gaze downwards silently.

Is this toxic? I felt like I was a service crew and had not served her well. Is this throw-letter worthy? Felt like I was also used for her to show her prowess and that her time needs to be respected. Sigh..or is this one of those incidents where you just accept these kinda flex/emotional abuse to get your next paycheck to survive?

Context: Board Member agreed last minute/one day before that she was going to present the webinar which I had been tasked and had prepped for about a week. I arrived one hour before her presentation. This is an all-women workplace and board members (also women) are treated like esteemed beings and our working-level presence is unworthy of them.
So... to be clear:

(1) You were late by 25 mins, which is a substantial amount of time.

(2) You were scolded when you came in late, and according to your story you were not scolded again.

And you want to to quit over this...?

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Old 14-12-2020, 10:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Safeworkplacespls View Post
So it was my mistake on for being late to office on a Saturday for a webinar. It could have been done in our respective homes but the board member who was going to help us/volunteered to help us present wanted us to be physically there to help her prep as well.

I was still 1 hour early for it so there was definitely time to help prep. (Help to log into zoom + set up portable light...yes giving service was not in my JD but has been so of late)

Sure I could have left my home earlier but I wasn’t able to get a grab in time cause no one wanted to accept my grab request. When I met my board member who was there on time she firmly admonished me with a side eye and went, ‘Weren’t you supposed to reach at (time)? I won’t tolerate you being 25 minutes late *finger pointing����+ firm voice*’
Of course I acknowledged that I was late and apologised but I couldn’t rectify it except continue to prep.

She then admonished again when my direct superior (she came in 5mins after the board member arrived) came in with the same tone, and my superior could only cast her gaze downwards silently.

Is this toxic? I felt like I was a service crew and had not served her well. Is this throw-letter worthy? Felt like I was also used for her to show her prowess and that her time needs to be respected. Sigh..or is this one of those incidents where you just accept these kinda flex/emotional abuse to get your next paycheck to survive?

Context: Board Member agreed last minute/one day before that she was going to present the webinar which I had been tasked and had prepped for about a week. I arrived one hour before her presentation. This is an all-women workplace and board members (also women) are treated like esteemed beings and our working-level presence is unworthy of them.
You were late by 25 minutes, scolded once and you are asking whether you should quit? Are you serious?

I'm also troubled by the other things you are saying... the slightly misogynistic sarcastic reference to women being treated like "esteemed beings", and how were you being used to "show her prowess"? Was anyone else there when you were scolded? Also, as to "her time needs to be respected" -> Yes. It does. Your time is worthy of respect, and so is hers. If she could be on time, why couldn't you? Did you text or email her in advance to let her know you would be late?

Seriously ah this post is so childish you need to grow up
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Old 14-12-2020, 10:13 AM
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work with women boss is never easy.. they are stingy and calculative..

blame culture is not good in a workplace..

time to throw letter
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Old 14-12-2020, 11:26 AM
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it's hard to judge a company's culture by a single board member's behaviour and attitude. they aren't employees and you would hardly see them within a year, least working with them. under such circumstances, given u were indeed late, i would just suck it up. on the rare chance u need to work with her again, just be extra cautious.
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Old 14-12-2020, 01:01 PM
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I don't consider myself toxic. But I'm a very punctual person.
Unless you have a valid reason like. Your son died.
Or you lose a limb. Or you got robbed.

Why are you late?

You're probably also late kind. Cause if you are always punctual and this is a one off incident, nobody will scold you until like the end of the world la.
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Old 14-12-2020, 03:34 PM
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one thing you need to know is that, she is a board member. and you are late for 25 min, which is very late under normal circumstances, not to mention it is an appointment with a board member. it is a special arrangement, and you know beforehand that the person is a board member, shouldnt you be more alert and reach way before the arranged time? u need to differentiate, what is important and what is not so. getting complain from a board member is damaging to yourself. by the way, from the way you write, i don't think you feel that you are wrong?
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Old 15-12-2020, 09:57 AM
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one thing you need to know is that, she is a board member. and you are late for 25 min, which is very late under normal circumstances, not to mention it is an appointment with a board member. it is a special arrangement, and you know beforehand that the person is a board member, shouldnt you be more alert and reach way before the arranged time? u need to differentiate, what is important and what is not so. getting complain from a board member is damaging to yourself. by the way, from the way you write, i don't think you feel that you are wrong?
Board member. Big freaking deal.
Pui


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Old 15-12-2020, 12:08 PM
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Board member. Big freaking deal.
Pui
if this is what u think and dun wish to work that way, then u dun fit into public service. to each his own.
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