Just started my first full-time job, no friends at work does it spell disaster?

[Lincoln88]

This is my first full-time job and started for 3 months already.

If you realized your character and personality does not click well with your colleagues and managers should you continue to stay?

We have no problem doing work together but I just can't seem to blend into the clique of friends in my office.

The managers' relationship with the other colleagues is so good that they will share some office secretes with each other, chit-chat, meet-up early before office timing to go breakfast together and sometimes even hang-out together on weekend.

I did try to mingle with them but many times they will not hold a conversation with me, very fast they will go back to their own clique of friends and their own private topics.

I feel so outcast and I'm already stop trying to mingle with them already.

Now I just focus on my own job and never talk about other things that is unrelated to work.

I'm afraid this will affect my yearly increment and of course my opportunity to learn new things in the company.

Any advice for me?

[darialim]

Stay and give your job a shot. Things may change, people may change. At least even if this doesn't work out and you choose to leave after a year or so, it won't seem like you're a job hopper. Sometimes from adversity will you learn a lot from people and workplace dynamics. You can try to focus on your job and learn as much as you can in the time you stay with this company.

is most of your colleagues much older then u?
try to join them for lunch or weekend outing, this might not be necessary but when u get closer to them they r more willing to teach u things that u may not know.
If all this does not work out and they do not give u problem on purpose for work try to stay longer for the experience loh.

You don't really have a choice. If you are going to quit now, your CV will be badly damaged since you cannot even last 3 months in the first job. No matter what you will need to wayang around for at least 1 year.

Unless your parents going to feed you even if you have no job, my advise is you just bear with it at least until 1st year anniversary then go look for other jobs.

[Lincoln88]

Yeah, I also think must atleast last for 1 year.

My colleagues are around my age, my managers only 7 to 8 years older than me. I can chat along well with a colleague who is the one teaching me now but that's it, the rest of them is just small conversation or none.

What I hate the most is they always exclude me in conversations that seem confidential, make me feel like I'm not part of their team.

[jobhunter]

My manager is one year older than me but personally we have nothing much to say. She has a few good friends in the company who are also her subordinates. I don't mind if I can't click well with my manager but what I can't stand is that my manager is bias. Defending those who she likes and outcast those she doesn't like. Some managers really lack leadership skills. She's bitchy at times. And she gets promoted fast. Just because the senior mgt likes her. That's why I only stay a few months in the company. Luckily I found a new job.

[Lincoln88]

Originally Posted by jobhunter

My manager is one year older than me but personally we have nothing much to say. She has a few good friends in the company who are also her subordinates. I don't mind if I can't click well with my manager but what I can't stand is that my manager is bias. Defending those who she likes and outcast those she doesn't like. Some managers really lack leadership skills. She's bitchy at times. And she gets promoted fast. Just because the senior mgt likes her. That's why I only stay a few months in the company. Luckily I found a new job.

Manager bias is the worst thing to tolerate and I personally experienced it before when I was working in McDonald as a school holiday job. Purposely don't let me learn new things and forever make me do the lobby kind of work like collecting trays, empty the rubbish then the other new staffs get all the chances to advance. Later when I reported this to the restaurant managers I felt great when I see those manages get scolding, I quitted after that.

How you explain to your next interviewer about your short stay in the company you left?

I'm actually thinking of leaving already but staying on because right now I'm just outcast but not so bad to the extend that I felt bullied or got bad remarks. In fact I gotten feedback and they feel that my performance is good just that the way I communicate to them is weird thus not able to click with the team.

Just because I don't click with them then I'm consider weird. I never encounter such thing before in all my previous work place, I just feel that our character and topics just doesn't fit that's all and not because I'm weird.

There are so many different kinds of people in this world and definitely there will be people you can't get along or just couldn't chit-chat with but I don't see them as weird.

Seem like I'm so much younger but actually look at things wider than them.

Dude u need to wake up.

There is office politics and manager bias anywhere you go. Unless you go some brain dead no future job where everyone bochap and wait for retirement, there will always be colleagues who will kiss ass and back stab you for their increment and promotion. We are talking $$$ here, not airy fairy feel good talk co.ck.

You are either in the game or out of the game. Bursh up your political skills and compete effectively. There is no point self-fantasizing how much better you are compared to your colleagues. The fact is they play the political game better than you and by default they win you lose.

You are dealing with real people with real careers and competition for monetary interest, this is not playground summer part time job you play play while school holiday. You need to up your game. Your next job will be the same, you will not like most of your boss and colleagues, but you better make sure most if not all of them like you.

Once you clock up enough experience, you will know that people who chit chat friend friend you are the most dangerous. They are even worse than those that openly bochup you or see you no up.

Cannot handle it my advice is you go join some stat board, at least guarantee paid monthly for the rest of your life.

Originally Posted by Lincoln88

Manager bias is the worst thing to tolerate and I personally experienced it before when I was working in McDonald as a school holiday job. Purposely don't let me learn new things and forever make me do the lobby kind of work like collecting trays, empty the rubbish then the other new staffs get all the chances to advance. Later when I reported this to the restaurant managers I felt great when I see those manages get scolding, I quitted after that.

How you explain to your next interviewer about your short stay in the company you left?

I'm actually thinking of leaving already but staying on because right now I'm just outcast but not so bad to the extend that I felt bullied or got bad remarks. In fact I gotten feedback and they feel that my performance is good just that the way I communicate to them is weird thus not able to click with the team.

Just because I don't click with them then I'm consider weird. I never encounter such thing before in all my previous work place, I just feel that our character and topics just doesn't fit that's all and not because I'm weird.

There are so many different kinds of people in this world and definitely there will be people you can't get along or just couldn't chit-chat with but I don't see them as weird.

Seem like I'm so much younger but actually look at things wider than them.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Dude u need to wake up.

There is office politics and manager bias anywhere you go. Unless you go some brain dead no future job where everyone bochap and wait for retirement, there will always be colleagues who will kiss ass and back stab you for their increment and promotion. We are talking $$$ here, not airy fairy feel good talk co.ck.

You are either in the game or out of the game. Bursh up your political skills and compete effectively. There is no point self-fantasizing how much better you are compared to your colleagues. The fact is they play the political game better than you and by default they win you lose.

You are dealing with real people with real careers and competition for monetary interest, this is not playground summer part time job you play play while school holiday. You need to up your game. Your next job will be the same, you will not like most of your boss and colleagues, but you better make sure most if not all of them like you.

Once you clock up enough experience, you will know that people who chit chat friend friend you are the most dangerous. They are even worse than those that openly bochup you or see you no up.

Cannot handle it my advice is you go join some stat board, at least guarantee paid monthly for the rest of your life.

are you working in stat board?
By the way, I like your advice about office politics. You are quite right about it. Can you please suggest some ways to be on the "right side" of our managers and our colleagues. What should we do so that Boss likes us and yet our colleagues do not hate us. Thanks in advance.

imho where we go there is always some people better than us and some worse than us. if we can train ourself to click with all kinds of people is better careeer wise and also emotional wise.

having a elitist mentality like "I'm so much younger but actually look at things wider than them." is not healthy. sometimes its not that the older colleagues are actually dumb, but over the years they know that it is more important maintain good rapport by acting blur than stick out trying to act smart.