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Feeling helpless, need advice...

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 30-06-2020, 05:10 PM
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Default Feeling helpless, need advice...

I have social anxiety and I can't work well with people.

I have very bad experiences with colleagues in my few previous jobs and I can't even stay at 1 job for at least a year because of having to work with people. My previous jobs was admin assistant, account assistant... because of my social anxiety my colleague seems to dislike me because I do not talk to them and make them happy and they always complain me to the manager.

My father has depression and my family is in debt and I am not even able to help out financially.

I'm 25 yrs old this year with only O level certification... I have tried taking up part-time diploma but I dropped out again because of having to "work with people", doing presentations etc... and I can't imagine me having to do that for 3 years.

Currently, I am doing grabfood but the jobs per day are inconsistent and I only earn a range of $30-60 per day.

Any advice for me? I am willing to take up a course which isn't too long.

Thanks


Last edited by shinystarx; 30-06-2020 at 05:13 PM.
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  #2 (permalink)  
Old 01-07-2020, 10:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shinystarx View Post
I have social anxiety and I can't work well with people.

I have very bad experiences with colleagues in my few previous jobs and I can't even stay at 1 job for at least a year because of having to work with people. My previous jobs was admin assistant, account assistant... because of my social anxiety my colleague seems to dislike me because I do not talk to them and make them happy and they always complain me to the manager.

My father has depression and my family is in debt and I am not even able to help out financially.

I'm 25 yrs old this year with only O level certification... I have tried taking up part-time diploma but I dropped out again because of having to "work with people", doing presentations etc... and I can't imagine me having to do that for 3 years.

Currently, I am doing grabfood but the jobs per day are inconsistent and I only earn a range of $30-60 per day.

Any advice for me? I am willing to take up a course which isn't too long.

Thanks
I think firstly congratulate yourself.
At least you are willing to work, and do grabfood.

Per day $60. 30days is $1800.

So that is good for a start

You could have chosen to slack at home but you didnt

Now you need a long term plan. Instead of randomly choosing an expensive diploma, can you envision what do u want to do in the future?

What was the reason that after o levels, u did not further your studies?

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  #3 (permalink)  
Old 01-07-2020, 05:56 PM
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Hi,

I am actually interested in IT stuff, like those build a pc for people.. etc also interested in web development or design... i think i have some interest in editing videos too... I have 0 experience in any of these so it’s just “i think” i have interest in them. Not sure if i will get bored of them after i start doing things related to these...

The reason why i did not further studies after O level was because my o level scores wasnt very good and i could not direct entry into any poly. After working for 2 years i tried taking up part time diploma but i could not really work with my classmates well because of my social anxiety and i was having panic attacks when i had to do presentations and group work. I always get so never-ending nervousness when i am around people which is very tiring for me and it did not help that the class was one of “biggest” batch with the most number of people taking up the course so i dropped out.

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Old 01-07-2020, 07:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shinystarx View Post
Hi,

I am actually interested in IT stuff, like those build a pc for people.. etc also interested in web development or design... i think i have some interest in editing videos too... I have 0 experience in any of these so it’s just “i think” i have interest in them. Not sure if i will get bored of them after i start doing things related to these...

The reason why i did not further studies after O level was because my o level scores wasnt very good and i could not direct entry into any poly. After working for 2 years i tried taking up part time diploma but i could not really work with my classmates well because of my social anxiety and i was having panic attacks when i had to do presentations and group work. I always get so never-ending nervousness when i am around people which is very tiring for me and it did not help that the class was one of “biggest” batch with the most number of people taking up the course so i dropped out.
first of all, u don't need diploma or degree to be good in IT . go google "freecodecamp" , solve problem in "leetcode/hackerrank" , there is bunch of Indian r who teach programming/testing/database knowledge for free, in your free time try out to create some app with NodeJS/Java post it on GitHub etc..

Those are enough to even landed u job on Google if you take and study seriously.

presentation and dealing with people is unfortunately part of life, u cannot keep running away from it just because u don't like it. Practice "correct" meditation, i highlight correct because correct meditation is non-religious meditation, learn to observe your thought, your fear and confront them in meditation. the more u do, the more u will be confident. and gradually, face people, just be natural nice person.
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Old 01-07-2020, 10:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
first of all, u don't need diploma or degree to be good in IT . go google "freecodecamp" , solve problem in "leetcode/hackerrank" , there is bunch of Indian r who teach programming/testing/database knowledge for free, in your free time try out to create some app with NodeJS/Java post it on GitHub etc..

Those are enough to even landed u job on Google if you take and study seriously.

presentation and dealing with people is unfortunately part of life, u cannot keep running away from it just because u don't like it. Practice "correct" meditation, i highlight correct because correct meditation is non-religious meditation, learn to observe your thought, your fear and confront them in meditation. the more u do, the more u will be confident. and gradually, face people, just be natural nice person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
first of all, u don't need diploma or degree to be good in IT . go google "freecodecamp" , solve problem in "leetcode/hackerrank" , there is bunch of Indian r who teach programming/testing/database knowledge for free, in your free time try out to create some app with NodeJS/Java post it on GitHub etc..

Those are enough to even landed u job on Google if you take and study seriously.

presentation and dealing with people is unfortunately part of life, u cannot keep running away from it just because u don't like it. Practice "correct" meditation, i highlight correct because correct meditation is non-religious meditation, learn to observe your thought, your fear and confront them in meditation. the more u do, the more u will be confident. and gradually, face people, just be natural nice person.
Thanks for the suggestion... might try that out in my freetime. I am also currently taking up a Comptia A+ course on udemy and maybe looking to take up the exam soon after I finish the course.

I think that's one of the problem with me. I have many bad experience with people and I hate people, and I find it hard to be "nice" to them... that's why I don't like having to interact with them because I have to act and pretend to be nice and I'm too scared to show my real self as a "bad" person also... I hope I won't remain like this for the rest for my life. I have no close friends since young and now I'm 25 years old and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do with my life... I have watched lots of videos on how to change this personality of mine but my brain doesn't seem to want to change.
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  #6 (permalink)  
Old 02-07-2020, 01:25 PM
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Default Sincere advice

Hi, shinystarx.

It has been commendable of you to have asked for advice and have tried to work. You need to continue to try and stay determined.

Nowadays, IT-related work is greatly demanded and, in your case, might not need much interaction with other people. You would want to continue to self-study online and(or) enrol yourself in courses which are subsidied - such as those that can be paid for with your SkillsFuture credits (if yours have been given to you).

Although work such as that in the IT industry might be suitable for you, if you want to give yourself many more opportunities, you should try to slowly increase your confidence and comfort level in relation to interaction with people. You should start by taking small steps to talk to people and befriend them. You can, as an example, ask them about the last meal that they have eaten, discuss with them diet-related likes and dislikes, great places where one might eat and so on. Many people crave socialisation and interaction so, if you just signal your sincere wish to befriend them, they might very well respond positively. Do not be disheartened if you stumble or take wrong steps. Do not also fear failure. Everyone makes and should learn from mistakes. Again, try to take initial small steps to talk to people. If you do this, you just might finally figure out your best way of doing this, become comfortable with this and, be able to work well with people.

You are warmly welcomed to update members here about your future situation and, I trust that members who sincerely wish to help you will do this. You can overcome your "social anxiety" but, to do this, you need to try to slowly and in small steps reach out by talking to people.
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  #7 (permalink)  
Old 02-07-2020, 02:20 PM
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Just go geylang to open your legs. It’s so simple and good $$. It’s one to one which your social anxiety need not worry. It’s not big group. 😍
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Old 04-07-2020, 11:09 AM
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Is a private diploma worth getting?
Will o level with professional certificate get me far?
I am hoping to be able to get at least 4k-5k at the peak of my career if possible
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Old 08-07-2020, 06:16 PM
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1) IT is a big sector. If you like assembling PCs, web development and design, those are quite distinct areas of IT. You should narrow down an area which you are really keen to pursue first.

Assembling PC: Anybody can do this and like it or not, you will face competition from foreigners for these jobs. In addition to IT graduates from the ITEs / Polys. Even if you stay one for 10 or 20 years, your salary will probably peak around 3k

Web Development: You mean coding? Then you need to ask yourself whether you really like programming. It is one of the jobs which doesn't need you to work with people, but it isn't for everyone and it isn't uncommon for many to drop out halfway through their studies

Web Design: These skills are easy to pick up on your own on Udemy, Coursera etc.

I really think you should narrow down which area you want to invest you time and money in first. Good that you are trying out the Udemy course, which employers will not look at, but it should help you in deciding your area of focus.


2) Will private diploma / Professional 'O' Level cert get you far?

Looking at the number of graduates with 'real' diplomas from the Polytechnics and ITEs, who are now also wondering if they can compete with the equally jobless fresh local university graduates, do you think the private diploma will help you land a job?

However, if the school running the private diploma /cert is reputable and you really believe it will help you build up useful skills, then it is worth considering.
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  #10 (permalink)  
Old 09-07-2020, 06:30 PM
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Look on the bright side TS, at least you aren't in heavy debt like this guy here, he has more reason to kill himself.

prolificskins.com/post/2018/08/14/business-failed-and-landed-heavily-in-debt-is-a-2nd-chance-ever-possible
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