Originally Posted by voskesbun

Thanks for your reply. Believe me, I am painfully aware that given my circumstances I may be better off than tons of people. People who don't have a job, shitty pay, physically demanding job etc. That's partly why I have been also feeling like an incompetent loser, because I am letting this one person get to me. Every time something happen and cock up, I always feel like it's my fault.

To the other poster, unfortunately aside from this toxic colleague, there is no one else in this role. I am unable to seek help or coaching regarding my work from anyone else. The best analogy I can think of is like if your teacher don't want to teach you properly, or purposely teach wrong thing and when you mess up/make mistake, then talk bad about you to everyone else to make you look bad. That's partly why I have been feeling so helpless and trapped