Unhappy in new job
 

I recently changed job and 1 week into the job my lady boss spoke to me about some pointers and I got a shock about 1 thing which she mentioned. She said that she doesn't want me to bring any backstabbing and politicking to her office. And that she would not hesitate to issue me a warning letter if Im found to have done it.

I'm pretty perturbed because I was just 5 days into the job and I have not spoken anything except some chats during lunch with my new colleagues. After I tried to think back, I'm not sure if my colleagues were offended with what I said over one part. We were just chatting how long I worked in my ex-comp and they in their current jobs. Most have worked over 14 years. (I'm in the education industry) so out of curiosity I asked why didn't they look for jobs? And since they don't have children there's no liabilities. I meant it as a discussion like they were joking it was a 7 year itch for me because I left after having stayed 7 years with my ex-comp. is this a norm? I mean talking to newbies about backstabbing and politicking. And could it be someone carried tales back to the boss? But wouldn't that look like backstabbing too?

Also, I realized Im not really happy in my current job. From where I come from, we were quite flexible and noisy environment. But my current workplace, the boss is quite strict, esp with punctuality and other things and I find that it's very restrictive. And I didn't know the environment is so serious either. I tried to make small talk but it seemed we are unable to click. I'm probably the youngest employee there.

I'm starting to look for a job but I know it looks pretty ugly on my resume that I'm looking for a job just two weeks into a new job. Is it advisable or should I bite and stick to at least 3 months? I'm trying to stay positive but it's pretty demoralizing hearing that from my boss.

As a rule of thumb, unless you are already financially independent, NEVER quit without first finding a job. You will spend all the days at home cold sweating waiting for interview calls and trust me, it will be worse than anything your boss can throw at you.

Just continue applying and hope for the best. Many bosses and companies are very strict in terms of discipline and politically correct when it comes to small talk, do not assume everywhere is like your former company where you can just brother brother crack jokes and make insinuations of quitting to anyone you hardly know.

Treat this as a lesson learnt. Anyway so far other than stiff culture, at least there is no unreasonable behaviour from boss or colleagues in terms of work, so you should try and get use to it and slowly take your time to assess your options.

Here is what I think. The company that you have joined is a tight-knit family and the boss values her team. A new person comes in to the company and makes him/herself right at home and starts asking provocative questions like,

I am sure your colleagues would have been feeling like, what is this newcomer doing, asking/encouraging us to leave? I am sure the boss might have casually asked them how the new joiner is doing, and this probably came up.

You can't consider yourself at the same level as your colleagues who have stayed with the company (probably through thick and thin) for 14 years. What they say to the boss won't be regarded as backstabbing as what you said to them. Their words backed by 14 years of loyalty, as compared to your 5 days of service and already thinking of leaving.

If you felt your company is so much better, why leave in the first place? You cannot expect to bring your previous company's culture to your new workplace. No one owes you that, even if you were headhunted which I highly doubt.

Thanks for the reply. Yes, other than the stiff culture, everyone's pretty okay. Just that they just keep to themselves. And I feel pressured too because they stayed back late almost everyday to work while I leave on the dot. It makes me feel uncomfortable because it seemed like I should stay too. This industry is supposed to be a family oriented company.

I spoke to my hb and he said I should learn to adapt. But having said that, he knows I'm unhappy with the work culture. I'm not calling it quits yet because I still need to feed myself.

Just want to know if anyone found a new job after two weeks on a new job and what did you say to your new employers.

I hated my current job after 1 week. I knew immediately the culture is not a match for me...though contrary to your case I prefer a more 'strict', quiet type of environment and the environment of my job is quite relaxed and lots of small talk and joking around during work, which I hate, and can't get along on the same wavelength as most of my colleagues.

I tried to look for other jobs since then, but didn't quit. It's been around 8 months and I only had around 5 interviews/written tests and only 1 offer. It's a tough job market now, but also depends on your industry I guess.

Unless you are a hot potato well known in your profession, I doubt you are going to clinch an offer in the next 1-2 mths or so. Better to make do with what you have and just patiently trudge along waiting for a good offer.

Btw, your "joke" to people you hardly know is done in bad taste. Unless its the kind of industry where everyone knows everyone will be going off in a year or 2, you really shouldn't say this kind of thing. It could get you in trouble in all sorts of places.

As for going off on time, you can try to continue do it, but be alert for any negative reaction. You don't want a case of getting terminated during probation w/o any job at hand, this will just make looking for the next job harder.

wah... come on lar... like this onli wan to quit liao?

ur this 5days next job is:

government job?
GLC
MNC
SME

?? which one

You wanna quit after 5 days because office is too quiet, boss wants you to be punctual and not play office politics?

Are you there to work or party? What a joke...

this. seriously, you are not happy just because of this? Your boss didn't exactly say you were playing politics either, maybe you are just thinking too much. Maybe she just decided to say that on the 5th day of work instead of the first day in case she was afraid she would scare you off, and it just coincided with the small talk you had with your colleagues.

Hey, at least your new colleagues are willing to have lunch with you. Do you know some new people who joined a company can't even get to have lunch with the old colleagues whom have been there for a long time because they already formed their own clique long ago?

Some people have lunch alone for 2-3 years plus, face all the stuff you listed above and even more ****..

Why did you even leave your old job in the first place ?

Give yourself a bit more time to see if you really dislike this place. But in the meantime start looking around for other openings.

If, after some time, you feel you really cannot take the culture or the kind of relationship you have with you boss, just move on.

You can leave this short employment out of your CV.

:)

Please let us know which company u working in? so we can apply for job there! hahaha...

Of cos must be punctual when going to work lah. Young people these days... thinks its their right of way to be late...

Well Well,

You got play out by the lady boss pet parrot (old staff) who get jealous of you or worry you might outshine him or her and ultimately took him or her salary increment or extra bonus at him or her expenses therefore he/she went to lady boss to discredit you.

It always happen old staff will do this to new bird due to insecurity or lack self confidence after boss had not once but twice praised you.

To overcome this, please check who chat a lot with lady boss during breakfast, lunch, pretend to do OT and see who chit chat with lady boss after office hour with the door closed.

This happened to me. I was ruthlessly backstabbed several times. Major politics in the office involving other departments.

I am good, but unfortunately old birds play backstabbing games. They made it very difficult for me to work and forcing me to resign.

I did not turn up when I resign, I just call up the company and resign. All my work I deleted. and I spoke in a bloody nasty way to my manager when I turned up to collect my belongings.

How can you do that? You should share some tips with us.

Cos usually companies will include a clause that you should hand over everything properly upon resigning when you sign the letter of employment. Also, there is usually at least a one month's notice for most companies that you have to serve.. so you can don't turn up for work at all even when you resign ?

Yes, 1 month notice. They expedited it to 5 days, giving me no-face.

I guess what gave me the courage was 'sheer force of my anger', I turned up for 20 mins to delete my stuff and take back my belonging

Why do people quit or give up easily? You should try and see how to make things up and change their perceptions of you. Insecure Old birds are there for a reason - they usually know they can't survive outside or find anything outside. The confident old birds are the happy and contented ones who are usually nice to help and guide newbies.

so they paid u for the remaining 25 days? Not that bad after all I guess.

Thanks for the kind comments.

I'm looking around and have applied to one company. I guess u are right as in after almost three weeks, the old timers are still not thawing. I'm taking the privately chartered bus home and I have to leave earlier like 10 mins to catch the transport and someone just commented I left so early. Thing is it's a family oriented company and i have already spoken to my boss regarding this. But she led me to believe during the interview that her office is a family oriented and friendly place. I asked about the culture and the people and its totally different from what she has told me.

I'm still around because I dun believe in quitting without a job either. I guess I just need an outlet to rant. I left my previous job because the job scope was stagnant and I have been asking if I can be groomed to the next level because I want to improve myself so that I can be considered for promotion but the reply was there's no budget to send me training. And I have asked for the last two years. i have asked if they can transfer me to another team but unable to because nobody wants to take over my job.

I guess in the end I just had enough lor.

Did you find out if your current position has a high turnover rate? How long did the previous person stay and why the person leave?

Good to know so that you ascertain if there is a problem with the work environment.

The person stayed for 6 years plus and from what I heard she's relatively young. And e reason she quit was that she wanted to go Europe for a one month tour and she didn't want to take a month of unpaid leave and come back with no more leave for the rest of the year.
Now that I think about it, she's just three months short of getting aws and bonus. So why wouldn't she wanna stay and get it first before leaving? That's a few months of extra pay....

You mean the person don't
want to take one month of PAID leave right? The reason for leaving is very suspicious. But then, most ppl will not reveal the true reason for leaving.

6 years is a long time. I think the work environment is fine otherwise this person will not stay on for 6 years.

Is your work place easy to take leave or must inform weeks in advance? If the former, tough it out and apply for other jobs at the same time.

Only resign without a job if the work is affecting your health.

All the best!

I think there are 2 main reasons you cited for wanting to leave:

#1 Leaving 10 mins before official hours and some colleagues possibly not happy. To be real honest about it, it is very rare for jobs in Singapore to be able to leave on time everyday, much less leave earlier than official hours.

Even if a company prides itself as being family friendly, I doubt they will accept some new guy that goes home early everyday. In that sense, if you find a company that really allow you to go home on time/early every single day, it is a big bonus. It is just too bad you made a "bad" decision to leave your previous company that allows this, it is not likely to appear again, so really the problem is more with your expectation than this new company.

You said the reason you left was you wanted to learn, bigger responsibility, career progression etc. This is somewhat at odds with your wanting to maintain the 9-6 work life balance lifestyle, better make up your mind what exactly is it you want. Unless you are really talented, you can't go around looking for jobs that give your good career prospect, yet still want to maintain this kind of relax work expectations.

#2 Not able to get close with colleagues. Agree in the sense that long term wise it is not very good, but ultimately you are there to work, not attend ECA in school or RC to make friends.

Do take note that by you constantly disappearing for interviews will likely make the whole situation worse. They going to sense something amiss if some new guy only join for 2 weeks always finding excuse to disappear for periods of time. Expect such news to reach your boss which will llikely place you under further supervision and micromanagement.

You don't want to get yourslef in a situation where you get sacked without a job. This will make your next job hunt very difficult. It is hard to explaing prolong periods of unemployment and if your industry is small, many will soon find out you were termuinated within weeks of your job which generate bad reputation.

Yes she left when she could have taken a one month paid aws in dec and then her performance bonus in January. Which if I were her, January is not too far away and I wouldn't want to be at odds with extra cash.

I'm not sure but I hv this feeling that they see me as a threat. Certain things they are supposed to do but they don't do and I i find it hard to say anything given the situation now so I just suck it up and smile through.

I'm still trying to get used to the environment but it is really still a culture shock after almost a month here. I guess I made a wrong move this time. :( seriously how do u all check on the company before jumping into it? I have asked the interviewer, I have asked a friend in the company though in another department, but it is totally different from what the interviewer has told me.

Just be careful of what you said lo. Politics are everywhere esp in office environment. As a newbie, you are definitely kenna talked/reviewed by the old timers and the 'feedback' by these old timers will of course be delivered to the Head.

As for your 'cannot click with them', sorry, this can't be helped. Either you step out of your comfort zone and try to small talk with care with them or sit at one corner quietly and get more 'meetings' from the manager. I have been through that and already know that such environment is not suitable for me. You must be aware that sometimes, small things are exaggerated esp when the 'feedback' comes out from a woman's mouth. Anyway, if you foresee this is not the place for you and you plan to leave, find a job first. There is nothing wrong to quit from this job even after 2 weeks. Most of the time, only when you are in the job itself, then you can assess the suitability. All those interviews we all go through are just preliminary filtering of potential candidates. There is no way a person can tell whether the company is good, bad or suitable or not suitable for him/her unless she/he has worked a considerable length of time in that company.

Yup, those old birds really love to make things difficult for the newcomers and I hate that. Kenna 2 such companies liao. They purposely one :(

ask for after office hours interviews so that less of chance of being detected. this kind of culture very fast will spread rumour if you just disappear for 2 hrs during office hours, old birds & mgr will use this opp to whack you jialat jialat then.

Ideally good idea, but realistically not possible if you ask me.

Unless TS is in a senior managerial role, why would the interviewers/HR bother to make exception to stay back just to interview him for a normal PME job? TS is the one looking for a job, not the company is headhunting an elite talent.

Even if they can, TS keep emphasize he wants to work in a work life balance family company where he can go off on time. Would a company who has people conducting interviews at 7pm/8pm be the kind of family friendly place he want to work in?

Yes, I also think so... this is the Catch-22 here.

That's why some companies prefer to keep their employees very busy - so they have no time to look for other jobs, prepare resume, go for interview, etc. hahaha.

This TS is a female la... That's y looking for a family oriented job cuz I hv a young child. I only hv diploma, so no, I'm not in some senior managerial position. My current colleagues there are a few unmarried ladies in their 40s. And I can feel the resistance towards me. Am I considered a threat? Seriously if I know... But I cannot turn back e time now.
I prefer to stay in government industry, or at least in e education industry because it is family oriented. And another thing is that private sector is unable to pay what I'm getting now lor. Even another statboard also say I'm overqualified. How to move?

Why do you think they see you as a threat? Because you are showing them up by doing things they do not want to do? Keep your head down and do your own work la.

Let me sum up what I see so far as to your ideal job:

- family-oriented (ie understanding boss that let's you run off as and when you need to)
- allow you to come in late, yet knock off early to catch the shuttle
- pay you better than anyone else
- a noisy friendly environment that isn't serious and businesslike

Make the decision, want money, want family time, or want happiness? You can only choose two.

Wow not sure where u came to the conclusion about the summary. It's not what I have meant. Anyway, thanks for the comments.

Where ar? Here lah (all your words), here's a reminder for you:

- family-oriented (ie understanding boss that let's you run off as and when you need to)
- allow you to come in late, yet knock off early to catch the shuttle
- pay you better than anyone else
- a noisy friendly environment that isn't serious and businesslike

If you are considering quitting, do take note that you will really feel the reduction in household income if you're not prepared for it. What seemed cheap/affordable previously will make you think twice as you keep applying for new jobs and get anxious.

Just for your reference, in a previous previous job, it took me more than 6 months to get my next job while I was still working. The next move I made took me 5 months of full-time job searching with no steady income in the meantime. Thankfully I have no dependents to support so it made it just a little bit better.

You will have to brace yourself if you want to get out of your current job. Its likely not going to be easy from the information you have provided so far.

ya man.. a company that doesn't force u to clock in and out is already a very good company IMO.. it means they trust you and you should not take advantage of their trust.

nowadays, almost every company is buying RFID machines and forcing ppl to clock in n out.. be glad that you have this advantage TS. coming on time and leaving on time is the basic requirement of any job

Honestly this is what it comes across to me as well. Most of your complaints so far are all very trivial matters and seem more like you have unrealistic expectation than any real problem with the company.

Take a look at the list of your complaints so far yourself:

1. Boss too inflexible, want you to be punctual for work
2. Boss warns you not to play office politics
3. Having lunch by yourself
4. Colleagues remarking why you go off early everyday
5. Quiet environment
6. Nobody chit chat and talk loudly and informally in office
7. Colleagues feel you are a threat because you are showing them the “right way” (dubious and unverifiable claim)
8. Colleagues unmarried old women so don’t understand your family needs

You try and justify your expectation for “family oriented” company by claiming you are female and have a kid. Excuse me, that about describes most Singapore workers of both sexes. Do you really think if you join some company where your colleagues are married with kids and people will tolerate you coming in late and zipping off early everyday under the pretext of being flexible? Or that somehow everyone will be just hanging around talking loudly during office hours?

As a civil servant in MOE I also offended in how you say that’s why you want to join government sector in education industry because they allow you to do all the things you are now complaining.

I am not a teacher and just a school support staff, though my school provide a bit of flexibility in terms of work hours, they do expect if you come in late you are expected to go off late. Not like what you are doing now, come in on time complain boss not flexible and go off early to catch bus.

Also whenever the need arise once or twice a week, we are expected to work 1-2 hours beyond normal hours either by coming in early or going off late. Office environment is also quiet and everybody just concentrate mind their own business and occasionally someone might pop over to ask some work related stuff or we attend departmental meetings. My school administration office is certainly not noisy where people just hang around making informal talk.

I don’t know where you are getting all these strange ideas about working in the public education sector, maybe you were lucky in your previous job you got a slack/don’t care boss, but please don’t paint all of us as if we are all like you.

In my industry (legal), they expect the lawyers to come on time, and not leaving on time (i.e. leaving only around midnight). Quite irritated with this rubbish.

Quiso
 

Same here. I got in to work on Wednesday at 9am and left the office at 7am on Thursday! Slept a couple of hours then reported back to work. Been like that for the past few weeks.

Practice is like that I guess. Lulls and peaks.

TS problem is very simple, basically she had a good job & boss that was very slack and relax everybody 1 happy family kind. Backside itchy want more money and career progression, jump out of her comfort zone and then realize others outside don't take this kind of crap.

To me unless you beg/cry/crawl your way back to your previous job, very unlikely you will find back that kind of environment. Just try and adapt to the real working world and stop complaining all the time.

Also I don't think you are being ostracized because you are so good/hardworking that others see you as a threat. Could be your eq or image turns off others, try and blend in with the rest.

Think logically: you are few weeks into the job, know almost nothing and zero connection, no support from boss, no political backing, junior executive (I assume?), so far average or below average career progression, have a tendency of going off before you are suppose to, why should any of your colleagues think you are a serious threat? Could be you thinking too highly of yourself.

Flexibility cuts both ways - if your boss starts being as "flexible" with your salary as you are with your time at work, 10 minutes late coming in every day and 10 minutes early knocking off adds up to 3% of your work hours every month - would you accept that?