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Old 25-12-2015, 11:53 AM
tempuse tempuse is offline
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There are ideas, beliefs, and values that most people accept, and it is pointless to argue with them. There are people, however who see such restraints as intolerable infringement on their freedom, and who have a need to prove the superiority of their beliefs. There is a strong emotional content in their beliefs: They really do not want to have to rework their habits of thinking, and when you challenge them, whether directly though your arguments or indirectly though your behavior, they are hostile.

Often people who criticize your life are usually the same people that don't know the price you paid to get to where you are now. They put labels on your actions so as to simplify them in order to better critique them. When you try to do things or act differently, people unconsciously compare themselves with you based on their own knowledge and experiences.

As such, they feel a mild discomfort due to conflicting beliefs, and when you try to assert a new unconventional idea - one indirectly prove superiority or uniqueness of your ideas, hence they indirectly feel inferior. People are more comfortable with ideas that are old and familiar.

When they feel inferior, they cope with this mild threat of cognitive dissonance by discounting the qualities of your ideas. They will also put you down to elevate themselves (self-bolstering) or selectively ignoring the importance of your goals so that it is no longer highly self-relevant to themselves. And when you continue to nudge them further, they may turn hostile due to the relational dissatisfaction with you, motivated by envy emotion.

Individuals sometimes cope with envy by engaging in self-bolstering. Envious individuals also make themselves feel better by belittling others. Rather than casting themselves as superior, individuals who belittle cast others as inferior. The envious individual has bolstered her/his own self-image at the expense of another. An envious person might try to harm the rival's reputation.

When you succeeded unexpectedly, they shall return to try to associate and fawn over you, hopefully to reap some benefits from your success. There is a saying: What is least expected is most valued. The first and the best is highly prized. When least present, it is the most missed. Most people are conformist to their own social circle. And because of their commonness, they are less valued. It is worthy to note that powerless people are primarily concerned with safety and security - thus they are usually more concrete, more conventional, and more risk-averse.

The dichotomy between local vs private unis or local vs foreign unis are just a myth to mask the inner need for superiority and assuage one's insecurity. Birds of the same feather flocks together. People tend to seek out people just like themselves for support and catharsis. There is an old adage; misery loves company. People have a need to maintain their self-schema, so often, they will relate with people that are relevant to themselves such as similar interest, beliefs, people, events, causes, and places. Same for intelligent people, they tend to be drawn towards like-minded affinity.

The need to put others down to elevate themselves unveils interesting details about their thinking. So don't bother to make other people understand you, and when they do, paradoxically they lose respect for you - because you are common like them. A winner is never asked for explanations.
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