Hi all,
I left my job of two years in the private sector which I am actually okay with it, to seek for more opportunities and also higher salary. I am currently a civil servant, been in the industry for almost about 7 months. My diploma is not related to what I am doing right now(not going to tell), which is tough but I got to say, I love what I am doing now and I have interest in it but unfortunately, got to be truthful about this, I suck at it and they don't look at how passionate I am, rather they look at how capable I am.
This has resulted me to falling into depression lately. It is a fast pace environment because of the customers' demand, and on top of that, you have to be accurate and knowledgeable in what you do. At least, that is how i interpreted it, because my manager said that it doesn't require a certain discipline to work(reason why im hired).
Back to how I suck at it. I'm not so sure if it is my fault or that I was not properly guided because i do not have a fix buddy(they took turns to guide me because all of them were too busy), but I always made the same MINOR mistake too often, and had been receiving crude remarks and words of disappointment from my colleagues. Three months into working, I had a mental breakdown. I wanted to quit but the department was short of manpower, so they made things better for me so I would stay. I made the decision to stay but now, in my seventh month, I feel like quitting again because of the repetitive amount of mistakes that I did last week, and constant amount of words of disappointment and scoldings that I received. (I honestly don't blame them because they must have expected me to be a better worker than before)
I honestly think the job might be a poor fit for me but at the same time I think it might be a period of transition too. I'm not so sure. I have no one to speak to at work. My colleagues are very workaholic and organized, and I don't think I am able to meet their kind of standard. What do you guys think? Should I quit? I'm not so sure what to say to them, after all, I've decided to stay.
btw. i'm 21. i do not like to be a job hopper..but i am just unfortunate to be in this situation. happiness matter to me.