[xiaoyan]

I am a 31 yo private uni grad (RMIT-SIM). (ew YIKES)

I understand my situation is fairly hopeless.

I have been reading this forum for some time now, including this thread. It hurts, but I'm thankful for the brutality because I would have been too blind to notice or understand otherwise.

I felt prompted to create this thread because I saw this one and it's kind of scary how similar his situation was to mine now.

For context, here's a timeline of my "life".

Secondary School- L1r5 6 (2009)
Junior College- Dropped out (2011)
Polytechnic (Accountancy)- 2.8/4 (2015)
National Service- 2y (2017)
"""University""" (Marketing)- 2.8/4 (2019)
SME Marketing Exec- (2021)
Poster design and videography.
2.5k/mo no CPF
FnB- (2024)
Needed to survive (and badly needed to clear my head)
Picked up some programming skills because of the widely shilled courses during the Covid period

I fell off really, really hard. I know that. I suck.
I also know that I could not have done any better in JC given my mental/emotional state with respect to my family at the time, so I have no regrets.

What I've done:

Up until recently I was applying for SWE jobs, but no responses. This is my fault for chasing the 2022 bubble and I wholly accept this.

Applying for traineeships.

1) VTTP Passed assessments, went for interview.
I plan to reject because doing research showed me it's not worth it.
One source (I have other sources but I can't really link them).

2) AISG Considering as well.
Part of me doesn't know if I can make it due to the widely known difficulty of the assessment.
But aiyah, I will try anyway.
My real worry is if I can convert after participating, because all conversions I can see are from people with 4y STEM degrees from the big unis.

What I'm considering:

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Applying for Local uni or masters to close the gap.
I was looking at Master of Science in Quantitative Finance (MQF) and BSC in SWE.
I understand that Civil Service (CS) or Multinational (MNC) mostly look at 4y degree and disregard masters, which is why I'm considering eliminating MQF altogether.

Intent:

My dad is 62 (retirement approaching). Mom is still estranged and up til a few months ago was still causing chaos for family. But nvm for now, it's ok for the time being

My dad has been working in MNC his entire life. He has never needed to hold a degree for this (but I guess our parents' generation was very different). I have asked him about his career a few times but he has never been able to communicate what made him valuable to his company.

I feel really bad because of my inability to close the gap (getting responses from MNC, CS) with people who have 4Y STEM degrees (FCH or not).

My 2019 jobseeking period was literally nothing but responses from Financial Advisories/FSC. I don't feel good leading that type of life, and I am literally getting no responses elsewhere.

I feel a desperate need to "become human" in a sense, even though I know I am currently unworthy of it. I don't really understand the emotional driver, but I think part of it means being eligible for responses from MNCs.

Tl;dr, I don't want to spend my entire life being trapped in this endless loop of being rejected by MNCs (and CS, to some extent). yes I know my life is already over so this is a pointless sentence hahah

Will getting a 4Y degree this late in life help me in this endeavor? Otherwise, what should I do?

If you have been in this position before, I need input. I don't want any false positivity. I can take the brutality. Please lay it down and tell me what I need to do.