Sorry to hear that.
I have also had breakdowns before and could not work.
One of the things I find woeful in medicine is that there is no real support network among drs.
When a doctor has a breakdown the profession makes everyone feel and think there is something "wrong" with that doctor.
No one wants to talk about it.
Also before you breakdown there are always warning signs. No one goes from mentally well to breakdown the next day. But no one wants to reveal their "dark secrets".
I have always hoped there could be some support network for doctors in distress. Support each other. Know that you are not alone.
We do it for patients. But we dont for our own colleagues. In fact there is a duty to report a colleague if they are Alcoholic or turning to drugs.
It is a horrible profession when it comes to taking care of each other.
Glad to hear you are doing better.
For the little money we earn, the lack of appreciation from everywhere, the difficult work dealing with people, it really isn't worth it.