Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
(Post 36340)
Thanks for sharing.
You seem to have turned out OK. That's all I want for my children. Not for them to be superstars or anything like that. Hope you don't mind but I have a lot of questions.
Did you parents' pamper you as a kid? Did you get everything you wanted? If not, how did they teach you to be frugal when they were so wealthy? Did you know they were wealthy when you were young or did they hide their wealth from you. Did anything change as you became a teenager to young adult?
Did you do well in school? go to University? Overseas? How hard did they push you on studies?
How much money did they give you? As a child? teenager? an adult? Was it just making downpayment on the houses or did they give you any cash other than inheritance payout? Was there a trust fund set up for you that pays you regular income? Did your wealth at a young age reduce your desire to succeed? Do you think you would have pushed harder if you came from a less wealthy family?
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No problems, I’ll answer your questions best I can but I reckon times now are quite different though so I’m not sure how much they are relevant in today’s world. This is going to be a long post.
To be honest we never really felt wealthy or anything and if I look at my friends from well off backgrounds most of them are okay as well. I do realize a difference though, usually those whose parents are from a professional background (i.e doctor/lawyers) are typically more spoilt then those whose parents own businesses, Could be because they helped out in the businesses at a young age or watch it grow from nothing which gave them value money more? Interesting most business families I know are generally stingier with their own family then friends/associates.
I do recall a test my parents did when I was young, they have me 2 dollars (Primary school) one day and when I came home they asked me how much I had left but I had spent it all, that day they determined I was a spender and packed lunchboxes for me instead (no pocket money). It was quite funny because to get money I and friend resorted to going around the school’s grounds to find money that other kids dropped during recess. That gave an early foundation on the value of money for me, I can’t really recall how much I got in Secondary school but it wasn’t far from what the normal kids got. Parents did get the usual tuitions and push me for results, but once they knew my efforts could only go so far they tamed back on this.
For Uni I studied overseas in Melbourne, didn't get a regular pocket money as there was a joint account for me to draw down on but stayed in a family house which I rented out 2 rooms for about 1K a month which just about matched my expenditure (household & spending).
Truth be told I think most of the influence comes from those I hang out with, I know children of very HNI individuals (not Singaporean) try their hand at doing waitressing while in Uni, some worked in drug stores and even MacDonald’s. I see them as an inspiration though I didn't follow their example during that time. The choice of peers your children hang out with in Poly/JC and University will likely shape their character. For example I also knew a guy who liked to hang out with showy kids in Uni and today he is no different from them (showy but jobless, spends his parents money most of time)
Unfortunately not everyone is born alike, some are born true leaders and some prefer to follow the crowd, sometimes I think it’s inborn. Pending on the personality of your kids you will know when you need to step in to prevent things from going astray or if you do not need to. For example I find people generally with lower self-esteem do whatever it takes to impress their peers, god help if they hang out with rich peers. Those with higher self-esteem will find their own path in life. Generally I feel if your kids are confident of who they are it would 50% of the battle won.
Personal funds wise I just got the payout recently so I am still pondering what to do with it (Property price too high I see little upside for now). I got funding support for the properties since it’s more of an investment then an outright splurge that and education (basics foundation). Unfortunately the majority of my net-worth remains locked and doesn't pay any income; if it does I would probably settle for a less hectic job with lower pay/prospects and spend more time with the family. Maybe it’s something destined for my kids to enjoy and not me.
Assuming I came from a middle income background I doubt it would have made great changes in my current path (I’m not one of those destined to be some great leader), but having what I have has given me the confidence to tell my management to stop the BS if it’s evident my team suffers because of their politics (In banking there is much BS to go around).
As a final note if you have wealth there is probably no need to hide it from your children, so long as parents if we lead by example and treat everyone fairly with dignity, watch their surroundings (peers) and expose them to realities of life outside of Singapore it will probably be good enough, even simple chores like cleaning their room, taking out the trash will help. And if they still fall astray at least as parents we tried our best.
