Being ruthless to be rich

[anormalguy]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

From the tone of your post below, must say I do detect a hint of boastfulness. But that aside, to help yourself answer your own questions are these questions:

I have worked 32 years in one job/one company. I am in my sweet spot in my career and I am looking at working till 62. I started with a HDB flat and a jap car when I got married. Now we have 2 condos, 2 cars, and a passive income of $160k pa and yearly savings of $350k to $400k. Networth fast approaching $7M.

As expected, here comes the typical Singaporean answer. I was looking for someone to sensibly talk with on issues of keeping up with standards, what is expected of oneself, and seeking what is right. Clearly, it isn't you. I doubt you want to talk to me anyways.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Since you are now so rich, are you planning to buy a GCB?

Arh yah, don't need to waste time with this guy.

The median salary in Singapore in 2016 is $4056 pm.

If you earn more than this, please stop complaining.

[anormalguy]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

My 2 cents worth.

I am a typical alpha female while my husband is more low profile and quiet. I earn about $280K per annum while he earns $450K per annum. Of course, he is 10 years older than me in his mid 40s now. He works hard and get things done, but he is not the type who draws attention to himself. Ironically, he is a lawyer, so all the typical stereotypes on lawyer are completely not applicable on him.

I got a very simple question for you, make inference on why I ask if you may.

Does it every cross your mind one bit that you're earning twice as much as your husband while him being 10 years older than you? I wish for honesty in your but of course I can't demand it. Relatedly, do you think your husband thinks of it the slightest bit of the same thing, EVEN if you don't mention it?

I lived long enough in my career to understand the concept of unlimited wants. Let's not get into the details as I don't want turn this into a thread where people 'boast', as instigated by of the prior response. But let's just say that there is a target, set by OTHERS, not you, but to be achieved by you. Maybe set by one's wife, family or societal circle.

I've come this realization, that target is always pushed higher. And it is this constant discrepancy between what you have, and what you need to achieve, that is causing dissatisfaction in ones life. What if you can't get out of these societal circles.

[anormalguy]

Originally Posted by Unregistered_101

Oddly enough the former are usually the "nouveau riche", they just made it like to buy tons of branded goods and show off, usually not that generous (both wealth & manners) and interacting with them is hollow. The latter of my associates are business people, they have properties, businesses, super cars mostly old money usually keep in their circles and interestingly do not post much on facebook except some business trips but more importantly talking to them you learn alot business experiences challenges etc.

If you feel that you need to step on people, degrade people or make 25k per month to join their clique I would say you might wanna consider changing your circle of associates.

Concerning those two groups of people, I believe I've reached a greater state of peace where I don't even bother with the rich people who show off. I've come 100% with terms that that's just not gonna be me. Not in this life time.

But the question is really what I am and what people expect of me. It's one thing to have your friends show off. It's another thing to have these same friends question your spending decisions - save on rent to get bigger house, take public transport, not going to investments while they don't realize you don't have that sheer size of capital to make it worth while.

You starting to see the point? I make decisions based on how I value a dollar. And because they value a dollar differently than I do, they make comments on my choices, which to me is making comments on me as a person. We both seek the same thing - a condo and a car, but choose to get there in different ways. One saves another waits for the big windfall.

I really don't want to bring particular industries in the mix. In this environment, or Singapore in general, people associate the sales, finance people as the ones getting the big windfall. And since I'm not in that industry, I can't see myself being that type of people to get that windfall of cash.

Originally Posted by anormalguy

I got a very simple question for you, make inference on why I ask if you may.

Does it every cross your mind one bit that you're earning twice as much as your husband while him being 10 years older than you? I wish for honesty in your but of course I can't demand it. Relatedly, do you think your husband thinks of it the slightest bit of the same thing, EVEN if you don't mention it?

I lived long enough in my career to understand the concept of unlimited wants. Let's not get into the details as I don't want turn this into a thread where people 'boast', as instigated by of the prior response. But let's just say that there is a target, set by OTHERS, not you, but to be achieved by you. Maybe set by one's wife, family or societal circle.

I've come this realization, that target is always pushed higher. And it is this constant discrepancy between what you have, and what you need to achieve, that is causing dissatisfaction in ones life. What if you can't get out of these societal circles.

I am actually earning the same basic pay as my husband, currently, but his bonus is substantially more than me. However, it doesn't matter and we talked about it regularly. I was only earning $70K/annum when I met my husband and he has always been supportive towards my career. Being an alpha female, I am ambitious and he knows my personality when we started dating. He is ambitious too but he has a different approach as well as a stronger preference towards work/life balance.

Sometimes, it is also dependent on the career path that you have seek. He is an in-house lawyer, and at a very young age, he has already decided that he is not keen to work in a competitive environment with long hours. He is very contented working in-house with a decent pay package. If he had chose to work in a law firm, he would be earning 4-10 times more than what he is earning now, but we would probably never meet and he will very likely hate his life.

Additionally, we share all our assets and make all plans together. It doesn't matter who is earning more money, as we both get to enjoy the benefits.

[hnnbllctr]

I haven't logged in using this name for ages. Allow me to address some of your doubts.

Firstly, nobody that matters is going to give a sh1t about what house you live in or what car you drive. The one whose opinion matters though, is YOU. Do you want to live in a GCB and drive that nice little Aston Martin DB9 GT, just because you feel shiok? If so, get cracking my friend, and work your little butt off. If you don't care, no one else should.

Originally Posted by anormalguy

My question is this: 1. Did you feel your had to step on people to get to $25k / month? 2. Was reaching $25k / month all it's cracked up to be?

It's funny. When I earned $4k / month, I thought the guy who made $10k / month was the bad guy. Now that I'm there, I'm really not a bad guy at all.

As for those questions,
1. No, but it's nice to know that I can when I want to for the fun of it. I didn't have to be ruthless although it is always fun to let the other person know that you have your hand on the handle of the knife and all you have to do is twist it.
2. No again. But cold hard cash can buy a lot of things. In large enough quantities, it can buy you freedom although it sucks that it cannot buy you fulfillment.

And to your point of being the 'bad guy', nah. What bad guy? Everyone's the same, $5K or $50K. It's not personal, it's just business. It is totally possible to not behave like an a**hole even when you are there, as being an a**hole all the time gets you NOTHING. Like I said, it's just business and business is about getting something that benefits you.

To get there, in addition to hard work, you need plenty of luck, a sharp eye to spot opportunities when they present themselves and the balls to grab it when you see it.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Since you are now so rich, are you planning to buy a GCB?

He cannot afford it.

A nice GCB with a swimming pool in a good location would cost at least $15m.

His combined net worth with his wife is only $7m.

His own net worth would be only $3.5m.

How to afford the GCB?

Only the top bankers, top lawyers and top entrepreneurs can afford GCBs costing $15m and above. Normal average professionals cannot afford the GCBs.

Lol I thought ur nick looked familiar, it was you replied to me in 2014

Originally Posted by hnnbllctr

I haven't logged in using this name for ages. Allow me to address some of your doubts.

Firstly, nobody that matters is going to give a sh1t about what house you live in or what car you drive. The one whose opinion matters though, is YOU. Do you want to live in a GCB and drive that nice little Aston Martin DB9 GT, just because you feel shiok? If so, get cracking my friend, and work your little butt off. If you don't care, no one else should.



As for those questions,
1. No, but it's nice to know that I can when I want to for the fun of it. I didn't have to be ruthless although it is always fun to let the other person know that you have your hand on the handle of the knife and all you have to do is twist it.
2. No again. But cold hard cash can buy a lot of things. In large enough quantities, it can buy you freedom although it sucks that it cannot buy you fulfillment.

And to your point of being the 'bad guy', nah. What bad guy? Everyone's the same, $5K or $50K. It's not personal, it's just business. It is totally possible to not behave like an a**hole even when you are there, as being an a**hole all the time gets you NOTHING. Like I said, it's just business and business is about getting something that benefits you.

To get there, in addition to hard work, you need plenty of luck, a sharp eye to spot opportunities when they present themselves and the balls to grab it when you see it.

You say that but if one were 100% then such things should not bother you at all franky, though such things rarely bother me I cannot for sure say 100%

But back to your question, I can give you my perspective but it will not help. How one values the dollar varies alot, unbringing, self esteem, personal commitments etc etc

I drive a 3 series but its on the higher capacity, people that know question why I would spend so much but when I go into the specifics of why I have the car they understand its a passion, another group who knows nuts would joke that I don't have the cash to buy a 5 series I laugh and agree with them and make a joke of it.

In reality to try and convince another party of your decision on dollar valuation would be the same, either you convince that you're sheer conviction of whatever it is you are doing led you to it and they do recognize where you are coming from or for the latter group you explain your background financing, how much your disposable income is etc. Lastly there is another group who will always think them self superior and will put down any values not consistent.

Of course no one wants to reveal that much, you have to selectively choose who you want to debate with on how much you think its worth to convince them, seriously if some "friend" whom you cannot convince logically keep jabbing you why bother seeing from their perspective. I stay true to how I value a dollar, I spend ridiculous amounts on what I like and I scrimp on items I don't. if I get challenged I will gauge who is asking and treat accordingly. Either I convince them, I laugh at it or I ignore as above.

Originally Posted by anormalguy

Concerning those two groups of people, I believe I've reached a greater state of peace where I don't even bother with the rich people who show off. I've come 100% with terms that that's just not gonna be me. Not in this life time.

But the question is really what I am and what people expect of me. It's one thing to have your friends show off. It's another thing to have these same friends question your spending decisions - save on rent to get bigger house, take public transport, not going to investments while they don't realize you don't have that sheer size of capital to make it worth while.

You starting to see the point? I make decisions based on how I value a dollar. And because they value a dollar differently than I do, they make comments on my choices, which to me is making comments on me as a person. We both seek the same thing - a condo and a car, but choose to get there in different ways. One saves another waits for the big windfall.

I really don't want to bring particular industries in the mix. In this environment, or Singapore in general, people associate the sales, finance people as the ones getting the big windfall. And since I'm not in that industry, I can't see myself being that type of people to get that windfall of cash.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

If he had chose to work in a law firm, he would be earning 4-10 times more than what he is earning now, but we would probably never meet and he will very likely hate his life.

Additionally, we share all our assets and make all plans together. It doesn't matter who is earning more money, as we both get to enjoy the benefits.

Wait your husband can make 4-10 times more at a major law firm? Wow.