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Does it make sense to leave Singapore for hometown in this scenario?

Poll: Should I move back to my hometown?
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Should I move back to my hometown?

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 24-03-2014, 02:50 AM
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Default Does it make sense to leave Singapore for hometown in this scenario?

Background

Age 31+,
Education: Economics graduate from India, Masters in Accounting & Finance from Australia, CPA in Singapore
Job History: 7 years in Singapore, worked in two of the big four followed by job in a bank as product controller/risk
Job Status: Job is moving to Pune & Poland
Salary: Little less than 100k per annum, has been stagnant for two years
Marital Status: Married, wife, age 27 +, is a homemaker & unlikely to get a job
Social Life: Friends make 2.5 times what I make,
Residency Status: Here on EP, PR application rejected thrice, most friends' PR

Family Background in India: Very well off family, dad owns multi million dollar property in India which he rents out, dad is very keen I return to India, I'm the only child. Mom wants me to do what I like

Wife is also an only child, she too comes from a reasonably well off background. She and her parents too are keen that I move back to India.

There are reasonable job opportunities in India for both me & my wife.

I want to continue living in Singapore, as my salary is stagnating, I hope to go to do an MBA from a top B school (this was a long cherished dream of mine). After my MBA, I don't want to do consulting as there's no life, but hope to get some better paying job.

Wife and wife's father(he's quite successful in the corporate world in India) feel I'll be too old as an MBA graduate at 34-34 besides all my friends' would have moved up even more in those two years and I'll be left stagnating even more after the MBA.

I had hoped that my wife could perhaps find a job and remain behind in Singapore with that job, so that I can come back & job hunt on her Dependent Pass, she refuses to do this, her parents got furious with this suggestion, they said that like all Indian men, I should've first completed my education before getting married, and if I had plans to do this MBA, I should've married at 35 post this MBA.

I hadn't mentioned to my wife that I had plans to do an MBA before I married her, we had an arranged marriage, the topic of my friends' MBA & her cousins' MBA had come up in a few conversations, I hadn't mentioned my own plans of the MBA then.

We have completed one year of marriage, my wife now says its time we start trying for a baby, as she wants to be a mother before 30, and I am old enough as some of my friends' are already fathers.

I feel I just can't afford a child yet and don't know if/when I will be able to afford one in Singapore. I can easily afford one in India if I lived with my parents.

Her parents too are very keen on a grandchild, her old grandparents too are anxious to be great grandparents.

We had heated arguments on this topic, I had told her that she should've asked me if I want to do an MBA, also she should have told me if she wanted a child early, she says that when a 26 year old woman marries a 30 year old man, she assumes he's completed his education (she says like all my friends' have completed their education) & will settle into family life in a few years, rather than now do a full time MBA, & that if such a man is stagnating, he should move to another city or country instead.

Should I move back to India in this scenario?

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Old 24-03-2014, 03:06 AM
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My wife & her family have told me in no uncertain terms that they will be considering divorce if I try to do this MBA from USA. I had applied to INSEAD in September 2014 and got rejected, I am reapplying for the January 2015 round & am unsure of my prospects, I also hope to try for the US B Schools, my wife absolutely refuses to be a placeholder for me in Singapore. My GMAT score in 680, how likely am I to get into a good B school with this score?

Before marriage I'd applied for the PR the third time, I'd told my wife this, but I hadn't mentioned that I'd applied twice before. My wife found out from my friend's wife that this was my third application, she and her parents are very annoyed with this information, they say I'm a Singapore obsessed freak & with so much wealth back home, the best thing for me would be to move back to India & try for job opportunities in my hometown.

I am unable to have any savings nowadays after marriage what with the EMI's & maintenance +wife's expenses.


Last edited by Devjyoti; 24-03-2014 at 03:08 AM.
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Old 24-03-2014, 03:08 AM
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Go back to India dude

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Old 24-03-2014, 07:05 AM
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Why are you unwilling to go back to India?

Just curious: is this an arranged marriage?
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Old 24-03-2014, 10:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Devjyoti View Post
Background

Age 31+,
Education: Economics graduate from India, Masters in Accounting & Finance from Australia, CPA in Singapore
Job History: 7 years in Singapore, worked in two of the big four followed by job in a bank as product controller/risk
Job Status: Job is moving to Pune & Poland
Salary: Little less than 100k per annum, has been stagnant for two years
Marital Status: Married, wife, age 27 +, is a homemaker & unlikely to get a job
Social Life: Friends make 2.5 times what I make,
Residency Status: Here on EP, PR application rejected thrice, most friends' PR

Family Background in India: Very well off family, dad owns multi million dollar property in India which he rents out, dad is very keen I return to India, I'm the only child. Mom wants me to do what I like

Wife is also an only child, she too comes from a reasonably well off background. She and her parents too are keen that I move back to India.

There are reasonable job opportunities in India for both me & my wife.

I want to continue living in Singapore, as my salary is stagnating, I hope to go to do an MBA from a top B school (this was a long cherished dream of mine). After my MBA, I don't want to do consulting as there's no life, but hope to get some better paying job.

Wife and wife's father(he's quite successful in the corporate world in India) feel I'll be too old as an MBA graduate at 34-34 besides all my friends' would have moved up even more in those two years and I'll be left stagnating even more after the MBA.

I had hoped that my wife could perhaps find a job and remain behind in Singapore with that job, so that I can come back & job hunt on her Dependent Pass, she refuses to do this, her parents got furious with this suggestion, they said that like all Indian men, I should've first completed my education before getting married, and if I had plans to do this MBA, I should've married at 35 post this MBA.

I hadn't mentioned to my wife that I had plans to do an MBA before I married her, we had an arranged marriage, the topic of my friends' MBA & her cousins' MBA had come up in a few conversations, I hadn't mentioned my own plans of the MBA then.

We have completed one year of marriage, my wife now says its time we start trying for a baby, as she wants to be a mother before 30, and I am old enough as some of my friends' are already fathers.

I feel I just can't afford a child yet and don't know if/when I will be able to afford one in Singapore. I can easily afford one in India if I lived with my parents.

Her parents too are very keen on a grandchild, her old grandparents too are anxious to be great grandparents.

We had heated arguments on this topic, I had told her that she should've asked me if I want to do an MBA, also she should have told me if she wanted a child early, she says that when a 26 year old woman marries a 30 year old man, she assumes he's completed his education (she says like all my friends' have completed their education) & will settle into family life in a few years, rather than now do a full time MBA, & that if such a man is stagnating, he should move to another city or country instead.

Should I move back to India in this scenario?
getting an MBA does not guarantee higher pay, nor advance to consulting work. you need to be on track to management level before MBA comes into play, even your company will sponsor your MBA when the time comes. Be thankful you are not accepted into INSEAD and get into more and more debts.
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Old 24-03-2014, 11:47 AM
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After reading through your brief background, I'm assuming you have a family business (for your family to be so well off and owns multi-million dollars property). My advice to you will be to return home and take over your family's business. Dude, if you're the head of a multi-million dollars business, it beats having a MBA hands down. After 3 - 5 years of heading the business, you can apply for E-MBA which will then be better suited to what you're doing - networking and crucial courses.

It'll fulfill your childhood dreams and solve your financial woes. If you like, you can bring over your family business and expand into Singapore when the timing is appropriate. You can definitely get a PR/Citizen if you do that. Like what the earlier poster had commented, having an MBA does not equate consulting jobs, nor better paying jobs. Ultimately, it's up to you who'll decide on your own career path.

P.S. I thought Indian men always can lord it over their wives? Talk to your wife, and she should be supportive if you wish to study MBA. She's just being selfish and wants to enjoy the life of the rich in my honest opinion.
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Old 24-03-2014, 12:14 PM
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Unregistered 2:Yes its an arranged marriage, should I have told her about this MBA thingie before marriage?
I'm unwilling to go back to India because I really love this city, its a first world country just 4 and a half hours from my hometown in India, I love my friend circle here who're MBA's from top colleges and big i bankers & consultants, they're the "cream" professionally and I generally like being abroad. I have a big extended family in India and I was always the best student of my generation in my childhood, some of my cousins are now working in my hometown in ordinary jobs, I don't want to do the same thing as them. Also, some of my relatives live a semi retired life in India, they look after the family estate office & spend the rest of the say playing golf etc, my mom & I dread I'd become like that. Besides, my first cousin runs the city's biggest jewelry business which is a huge business in India, I can't ever compete with that, which is why my mom feels its best I live abroad(although I can't even compete with my i banker & consultant friends here).

I used to be a school topper, my best friend is in Singapore, he's a senior manager with McKinsey , , on the way to becoming a Partner, the rest of my friends too are doing very well, I want to "prove" myself once in Singapore before returning to India.

Unregistered 3: I said I don't want to do consulting as there's no work life balance, I'm looking for some other job with higher pay.

Unregistered 4: I have a family who owned a business a few generations back.Now the business has been sold, we still have huge property in posh locations in my hometown. My dad owns such a big property in the heart of the city, which he rents out for marriages in India, he earns quite a bit for every marriage & other party. I honestly don't have any business ideas of my own, my dad keeps telling me I should think of business ideas as I come from a business family, I also don't think I have the temperament for business in India, there's way too much bribing & corruption. I could possibly get a job in my hometown.

Regarding my wife, yes there's definitely that side to it, she does want the life of the rich & thats' probably the main part. Also, she feels I am unlikely to land any well paying job at 35 post this MBA, she says I'm also much lazier than my consulting friends who are into jobs with no work life balance, she says if my career is already stagnating now, its going to be worse post this MBA while my friends' will do even better for themselves then.
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Old 24-03-2014, 02:16 PM
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honestly, i think you'll be happier divorcing her (and her parents). settle down here in Singapore, fall in love and get a local wife.
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Old 24-03-2014, 03:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Devjyoti View Post
Unregistered 2:Yes its an arranged marriage, should I have told her about this MBA thingie before marriage?
I'm unwilling to go back to India because I really love this city, its a first world country just 4 and a half hours from my hometown in India, I love my friend circle here who're MBA's from top colleges and big i bankers & consultants, they're the "cream" professionally and I generally like being abroad. I have a big extended family in India and I was always the best student of my generation in my childhood, some of my cousins are now working in my hometown in ordinary jobs, I don't want to do the same thing as them. Also, some of my relatives live a semi retired life in India, they look after the family estate office & spend the rest of the say playing golf etc, my mom & I dread I'd become like that. Besides, my first cousin runs the city's biggest jewelry business which is a huge business in India, I can't ever compete with that, which is why my mom feels its best I live abroad(although I can't even compete with my i banker & consultant friends here).

I used to be a school topper, my best friend is in Singapore, he's a senior manager with McKinsey , , on the way to becoming a Partner, the rest of my friends too are doing very well, I want to "prove" myself once in Singapore before returning to India.

Unregistered 3: I said I don't want to do consulting as there's no work life balance, I'm looking for some other job with higher pay.

Unregistered 4: I have a family who owned a business a few generations back.Now the business has been sold, we still have huge property in posh locations in my hometown. My dad owns such a big property in the heart of the city, which he rents out for marriages in India, he earns quite a bit for every marriage & other party. I honestly don't have any business ideas of my own, my dad keeps telling me I should think of business ideas as I come from a business family, I also don't think I have the temperament for business in India, there's way too much bribing & corruption. I could possibly get a job in my hometown.

Regarding my wife, yes there's definitely that side to it, she does want the life of the rich & thats' probably the main part. Also, she feels I am unlikely to land any well paying job at 35 post this MBA, she says I'm also much lazier than my consulting friends who are into jobs with no work life balance, she says if my career is already stagnating now, its going to be worse post this MBA while my friends' will do even better for themselves then.
hello friend, read your profile and saw that you come from a well-to-family, but u r not happy. you have everything in your life right now. be content. what makes you unhappy is because you are comparing yourself to everyone around u. there will always be someone higher and better than you. one mountain always have another higher mountain. if you want higher pay, one advice is to invest and grow your money. invest in a mba is a liability. invest in property is an asset. invest wisely, grow wisely and contentment awaits u.
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Old 24-03-2014, 03:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Devjyoti View Post
Background

Age 31+,
Education: Economics graduate from India, Masters in Accounting & Finance from Australia, CPA in Singapore
Job History: 7 years in Singapore, worked in two of the big four followed by job in a bank as product controller/risk
Job Status: Job is moving to Pune & Poland
Salary: Little less than 100k per annum, has been stagnant for two years
Marital Status: Married, wife, age 27 +, is a homemaker & unlikely to get a job
Social Life: Friends make 2.5 times what I make,
Residency Status: Here on EP, PR application rejected thrice, most friends' PR

Family Background in India: Very well off family, dad owns multi million dollar property in India which he rents out, dad is very keen I return to India, I'm the only child. Mom wants me to do what I like

Wife is also an only child, she too comes from a reasonably well off background. She and her parents too are keen that I move back to India.

There are reasonable job opportunities in India for both me & my wife.

I want to continue living in Singapore, as my salary is stagnating, I hope to go to do an MBA from a top B school (this was a long cherished dream of mine). After my MBA, I don't want to do consulting as there's no life, but hope to get some better paying job.

Wife and wife's father(he's quite successful in the corporate world in India) feel I'll be too old as an MBA graduate at 34-34 besides all my friends' would have moved up even more in those two years and I'll be left stagnating even more after the MBA.

I had hoped that my wife could perhaps find a job and remain behind in Singapore with that job, so that I can come back & job hunt on her Dependent Pass, she refuses to do this, her parents got furious with this suggestion, they said that like all Indian men, I should've first completed my education before getting married, and if I had plans to do this MBA, I should've married at 35 post this MBA.

I hadn't mentioned to my wife that I had plans to do an MBA before I married her, we had an arranged marriage, the topic of my friends' MBA & her cousins' MBA had come up in a few conversations, I hadn't mentioned my own plans of the MBA then.

We have completed one year of marriage, my wife now says its time we start trying for a baby, as she wants to be a mother before 30, and I am old enough as some of my friends' are already fathers.

I feel I just can't afford a child yet and don't know if/when I will be able to afford one in Singapore. I can easily afford one in India if I lived with my parents.

Her parents too are very keen on a grandchild, her old grandparents too are anxious to be great grandparents.

We had heated arguments on this topic, I had told her that she should've asked me if I want to do an MBA, also she should have told me if she wanted a child early, she says that when a 26 year old woman marries a 30 year old man, she assumes he's completed his education (she says like all my friends' have completed their education) & will settle into family life in a few years, rather than now do a full time MBA, & that if such a man is stagnating, he should move to another city or country instead.

Should I move back to India in this scenario?
seriously, you're a man. quite whining like a little b*tch!

it's so simple, if u want your wife then go back to india. singapore is too crowded anyway.

if u want to pursue your life long dream about getting an MBA so that you can match up to all your friends then stay and divorce her. by insisting on applying for other courses u clearly don't really care much about her. anyway how hard is it for your parents to arrange another marriage for u??

suck it up.
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