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Anyone jobless for a long time before?

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  #3011 (permalink)  
Old 16-11-2020, 12:50 AM
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I am a male in my 40s, single and have been unemployed for almost a year. Left my previous job as an executive because of low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. The job market this year has obviously been horrible and my issues above became worse with application after application rejected.

Recently I finally managed to get a job and I am starting next week. It needs a lot of people interaction which is also something which made me leave my previous job. I tend to think too much about what colleagues, bosses and others think of me and my work performance. But I don't think I have any options here, its take this job or remain unemployed.

Another challenge I face is that I am basically by myself. I am not close with my family and don't have a social circle. Call me a loser, a weirdo, a hikikomori. But all these years I have put up a false front at work and in public. Its a miracle I am still alive today.

I fear going back to work because the workload will be high, I will need to put up a show that I am 'normal' to my future colleagues and worse of all I will need to interact with them and answer questions about my personal life, unemployment and all that.

If there were a hole in front of me now, I would jump in and never be seen by the world again.

When women return to the workforce after child-rearing, being a home-maker, they may face the same issues. But everyone is more understanding and there is official and unofficial support. I may be a unique example, but my issues are also real, I have nobody to turn to and as a man, society expects me to manage them by myself.

Not asking for sympathy but wonder if any other guys out there are in the same boat as me and what did you do to overcome this?
Very simple. Join a church. And start making ur circle of friends there.

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  #3012 (permalink)  
Old 16-11-2020, 12:50 PM
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I am a male in my 40s, single and have been unemployed for almost a year. Left my previous job as an executive because of low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. The job market this year has obviously been horrible and my issues above became worse with application after application rejected.

Recently I finally managed to get a job and I am starting next week. It needs a lot of people interaction which is also something which made me leave my previous job. I tend to think too much about what colleagues, bosses and others think of me and my work performance. But I don't think I have any options here, its take this job or remain unemployed.

Another challenge I face is that I am basically by myself. I am not close with my family and don't have a social circle. Call me a loser, a weirdo, a hikikomori. But all these years I have put up a false front at work and in public. Its a miracle I am still alive today.

I fear going back to work because the workload will be high, I will need to put up a show that I am 'normal' to my future colleagues and worse of all I will need to interact with them and answer questions about my personal life, unemployment and all that.

If there were a hole in front of me now, I would jump in and never be seen by the world again.

When women return to the workforce after child-rearing, being a home-maker, they may face the same issues. But everyone is more understanding and there is official and unofficial support. I may be a unique example, but my issues are also real, I have nobody to turn to and as a man, society expects me to manage them by myself.

Not asking for sympathy but wonder if any other guys out there are in the same boat as me and what did you do to overcome this?
Hi there, first of all I understand your feelings of low self-esteem and anxiety. Like you, I have had moments of self-doubt before but I eventually learnt to overcome it to some extent. Perhaps you want to let me know your handle so that I can PM you?

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  #3013 (permalink)  
Old 16-11-2020, 08:26 PM
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Bro, sad to say that reality on the ground is entirely on the contrary. I have no reason to lie to you - just do a quick LinkedIn search (key word = 19D) and you can easily identify a couple of us.

There’s no such thing as confirm got job one - every year Insead churns out 2k+ mbas. Plus there’s so many other top mbas coming into the job market.

And yes, of course I know how hard it is to get into insead - I took gmat twice and spent 2 months+ on the admission essays.

Btw, there also isn’t an “insead type”. We come from over 90+ countries and diversity is one of the key strengths of the insead brand.

Which industry and role did your friend get into, if I may ask?
INSEAD only produces around 1000 MBA graduates per year - about 500 each in Jan and Sep intake. This makes me wonder if you are really from INSEAD.

A bias I need to point out is that MBA graduates may be unemployed in the short term not because they could not get a job, but perhaps could be due to the lack of suitable roles fitting of their aspirations and goals. That's precisely the reason why Stanford MBA's employment rate is lower than even a rank 20 MBA program. Top MBAs do not just take any job in the market - every move in their careers are planned with careful deliberation and is closely aligned with their final objectives. If a job doesn't cut it, they would rather not take it.

To add on, it is hard to get admitted to INSEAD not primarily because of the preparation work - GMAT, essays, interviews, etc (since you'll be pretty much doing the same thing for every other biz sch applications anyway), but largely due to the stringent selection criteria. There's a cap on every nationality in order to craft a diverse class. To be more specific, roughly about 10+ Singaporeans get admitted for each intake. So candidates are usually creme de la creme in order to beat the competition and get admitted.

Granted there's no 'INSEAD type' by skin colour or nationality, the diverse candidate pool can however be characterized by some pretty apparent common traits like strong leadership, global outlook, international work experience, high self-awareness, intellectual humility, and strong ability to contribute and effect change for the better.

And yes, I'm speaking as an INSEAD MBA.

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  #3014 (permalink)  
Old 17-11-2020, 10:23 AM
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I am a male in my 40s, single and have been unemployed for almost a year. Left my previous job as an executive because of low self-esteem, anxiety and depression. The job market this year has obviously been horrible and my issues above became worse with application after application rejected.

Recently I finally managed to get a job and I am starting next week. It needs a lot of people interaction which is also something which made me leave my previous job. I tend to think too much about what colleagues, bosses and others think of me and my work performance. But I don't think I have any options here, its take this job or remain unemployed.

Another challenge I face is that I am basically by myself. I am not close with my family and don't have a social circle. Call me a loser, a weirdo, a hikikomori. But all these years I have put up a false front at work and in public. Its a miracle I am still alive today.

I fear going back to work because the workload will be high, I will need to put up a show that I am 'normal' to my future colleagues and worse of all I will need to interact with them and answer questions about my personal life, unemployment and all that.

If there were a hole in front of me now, I would jump in and never be seen by the world again.

When women return to the workforce after child-rearing, being a home-maker, they may face the same issues. But everyone is more understanding and there is official and unofficial support. I may be a unique example, but my issues are also real, I have nobody to turn to and as a man, society expects me to manage them by myself.

Not asking for sympathy but wonder if any other guys out there are in the same boat as me and what did you do to overcome this?
Jiayou, dont be too low in morale, the day after tomorrow will be better.
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  #3015 (permalink)  
Old 17-11-2020, 06:05 PM
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You are not alone.

I remembered after i sold my business and attempted to go back into the workforce. I applied for more than 400 jobs with no response.

I became dejected and will avoid social functions as it became tiring to keep avoiding questions and even if I did respond, it will always end up in an awkward situation.

How to get out of this? put very simply, you have to try to brace up. Get back into your network, and look for opportunities again.

True enough after awhile with Gods blessings, slowly interviews came in, and i had the chance to attend interviews. Of cos there will be idiotics hiring managers who look down on your pass employment records (here is where i can never understand, dun ask a candidate why he is jobless and plode so deep la, its not as if we wanted right?!)

Very soon after 2 years, finally someone gave me a chance! so yes, have to restart again. Be contented, start your social network. Do a sport, join friends again. Get into the circle of friends who shares the same hobbies and develop more interest in whatever you had wished to do but didnt get the chance because of your financial challenges previously!

Stay positive and things will slowly shape up.

When you are ready, start to do volunteer work and give back. Helping others also helps yourself too! Cheers!
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  #3016 (permalink)  
Old 19-11-2020, 12:51 AM
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It has been close to a year since i came out of prison due to moment of folly and greed. Couldn’t find a proper job since. The moment the recruitor hears of my record basically it’s no more chance. Don’t think i can lie too. I met one recruitor she even asked me how was it inside but then later smirked and told me basically i have no choice for that job. Suffering very low self esteem since especially during the interview need to tell them that and i see their face reaction
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  #3017 (permalink)  
Old 19-11-2020, 04:32 PM
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It has been close to a year since i came out of prison due to moment of folly and greed. Couldn’t find a proper job since. The moment the recruitor hears of my record basically it’s no more chance. Don’t think i can lie too. I met one recruitor she even asked me how was it inside but then later smirked and told me basically i have no choice for that job. Suffering very low self esteem since especially during the interview need to tell them that and i see their face reaction

Jiayou . It’s really not easy. Strong stigma. Don’t know if you can just accept a lower paying job for the time being to prove your worth and reliability. Don’t give up
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  #3018 (permalink)  
Old 01-12-2020, 12:40 AM
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It has been close to a year since i came out of prison due to moment of folly and greed. Couldn’t find a proper job since. The moment the recruitor hears of my record basically it’s no more chance. Don’t think i can lie too. I met one recruitor she even asked me how was it inside but then later smirked and told me basically i have no choice for that job. Suffering very low self esteem since especially during the interview need to tell them that and i see their face reaction
just curious...have u heard of the yellow ribbon project? or u approached them but found that the salaries of the jobs they offered u were too low?
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  #3019 (permalink)  
Old 02-12-2020, 11:10 PM
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It has been close to a year since i came out of prison due to moment of folly and greed. Couldn’t find a proper job since. The moment the recruitor hears of my record basically it’s no more chance. Don’t think i can lie too. I met one recruitor she even asked me how was it inside but then later smirked and told me basically i have no choice for that job. Suffering very low self esteem since especially during the interview need to tell them that and i see their face reaction
Can consider upskilling via SGUS. Recently I started learning Digital Marketing and wrote my experience here - emunahcoaching.com/my-sgus-experience-at-lithan

At least got some allowance and learn something while looking for a job.

All the best!
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  #3020 (permalink)  
Old 12-12-2020, 12:41 PM
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Why study when you can get uptron acl and land a bank job?

Sinkie kids busy study grow up to be the world's most educated and qualified grab driver and food delivery guy
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