How much $ do you give your parents every month?

Monthly pay is 4k after cpf. After car loan and personal expenses not much left.

Parents say i dont take from them already thank god liao. Im not married and i live with them.

I dont give them money but i pay for the cable and phone.
If family dinner i pay. Minor things like bread and groceries i will get sometimes.
Feel a bit guilty though but they are working and earn much much more than me.

Parents gave me 200k recently for condo downpayment and i just take care of the loan when its completed.

I guess im lucky....but maybe when i earn more and after they retire I'll start giving them money.

Originally Posted by unfilial

Monthly pay is 4k after cpf. After car loan and personal expenses not much left.

Parents say i dont take from them already thank god liao. Im not married and i live with them.

I dont give them money but i pay for the cable and phone.
If family dinner i pay. Minor things like bread and groceries i will get sometimes.
Feel a bit guilty though but they are working and earn much much more than me.

Parents gave me 200k recently for condo downpayment and i just take care of the loan when its completed.

I guess im lucky....but maybe when i earn more and after they retire I'll start giving them money.

wtf... you get a 200k allowance from your parents and still have the cheek to say you "pay for the cable and phone". you are one hell of a spineless good-for-nothing.

at least you realize you're spineless.... there are many others who don't.

I give S$1500/month to my parents.

Originally Posted by unfilial

Monthly pay is 4k after cpf. After car loan and personal expenses not much left.

Parents say i dont take from them already thank god liao. Im not married and i live with them.

I dont give them money but i pay for the cable and phone.
If family dinner i pay. Minor things like bread and groceries i will get sometimes.
Feel a bit guilty though but they are working and earn much much more than me.

Parents gave me 200k recently for condo downpayment and i just take care of the loan when its completed.

I guess im lucky....but maybe when i earn more and after they retire I'll start giving them money.

My rich parents offered to help me buy a bigger condo in a better location. I said thanks but no thanks.

I am happy in my OCR condo, its 100% mine and no one can tell me what to do with it. Its important to be independant. Need to avoid any likelihood that they use their $ to make me feel guilty or 'blackmail' me to do the things I don't want to do e.g. visit them every day, make me sell the condo and move in with them, make me attend endless relatives' gatherings, use the condo to one-up against me and accuse me of being ungrateful when there are disagreements ...

Not all parents are 100% selfless and nice and giving.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

wtf... you get a 200k allowance from your parents and still have the cheek to say you "pay for the cable and phone". you are one hell of a spineless good-for-nothing.

at least you realize you're spineless.... there are many others who don't.

Don't be such a sour grape! Is there a need to get so worked out?

Originally Posted by Unregistered

My fiance and I earn a combined income of $13k+. It is largely my income. Her parents though much less well-off than mine are both retirees. They are very nice people and easy going.

Our arrangement is that my wife-to-be gives an allowance to her parents every month whilst I am in-charge of contributing to my family.

I give $2000 per month to my parents whilst my fiance gives only $200 (about 10% of her salary). We deliberately hide my income from my them as we fear it may create unhappiness.

Do you guys think this is a fair arrangement? Should I be giving a portion of my salary to upkeep them as well?

My parents don't need my contribution at all to be honest. They have passive income of about $15k per month from rental and stocks and are still both working. My contribution to them is more of a gesture and also to prevent my relatives from gossiping.

In return for my monthly contribution, my parents have given us a house + car. Plus, my father insists on paying for all family holidays. His theory is that all his children are equal and if he pays for one, he will pay for all. I have 3 siblings.

However, when I discussed with my mum about increasing my contribution to my parents-in-law, this struck a raw nerve. My parents got quite upset with that suggestion.

It seems that when we do get married (this year), things are going to get even more messy. Really don't know how to solve this issue

hmmm yup, similarly to what the other person answered, i don't really see why you would need to discuss with your mum regarding allowance for your in laws. you're already a working adult afterall and should be free to make your own decision.

though i'm guessing what your parents feel is that the you are indirectly sharing the benefits of their contributions (from the money you didn't have to spend on your house/car) with your in-laws and hence, they feel they are actually indirectly making a contribution to your in-laws.

regarding whether it's a fair arrangement, it is entirely up to each individual and their parents to decide. each family will have a different perspective on this matter.

however, i do feel that 200 is a little on the lower side. perhaps, she or you can give another 100-200 more because living expenses these days are rather high and all the more so when there are 2 people, in this case, retirees.

it is however also, not a must/necessity for you to contribute to upkeep your in-laws. if you do so, then it is out of good will gesture or filial piety and love for your in-laws.

haha i'm not getting married anytime soon but i always fail to comprehend why parents (or asian parents for that matter) would always want to interfere in the lives/decisions of their grown up children who are already working adults.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

hmmm yup, similarly to what the other person answered, i don't really see why you would need to discuss with your mum regarding allowance for your in laws. you're already a working adult afterall and should be free to make your own decision.

though i'm guessing what your parents feel is that the you are indirectly sharing the benefits of their contributions (from the money you didn't have to spend on your house/car) with your in-laws and hence, they feel they are actually indirectly making a contribution to your in-laws.

regarding whether it's a fair arrangement, it is entirely up to each individual and their parents to decide. each family will have a different perspective on this matter.

however, i do feel that 200 is a little on the lower side. perhaps, she or you can give another 100-200 more because living expenses these days are rather high and all the more so when there are 2 people, in this case, retirees.

it is however also, not a must/necessity for you to contribute to upkeep your in-laws. if you do so, then it is out of good will gesture or filial piety and love for your in-laws.

haha i'm not getting married anytime soon but i always fail to comprehend why parents (or asian parents for that matter) would always want to interfere in the lives/decisions of their grown up children who are already working adults.

You fail to comprehend cos you're lucky enough not to be burdened by such traditional practices. It is common among Asian culture, at least in this part of the world, to give reasonable allowance to parents.

I too give allowance to my parents both sides, about 20% of our combined 20k income. But I wish my kids will be lucky enough not to be burdened by such a practice.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

You fail to comprehend cos you're lucky enough not to be burdened by such traditional practices. It is common among Asian culture, at least in this part of the world, to give reasonable allowance to parents.

I too give allowance to my parents both sides, about 20% of our combined 20k income. But I wish my kids will be lucky enough not to be burdened by such a practice.

In fact, i do give my parents allowance! Haha my mum even specified a specific amount anyway! I won't say in certainty if that's a burden but it may be better for children to decide the amount on their own initiative. Then again, some might give too little.

But what i mean is other than that, other issues, why parents/in-laws, interfere to make the couples lives more difficult. sometimes, monetary issues are easy to solve, but others harder. I think these issues do indirectly contribute to the later marriages and delayed parenthood.

Perhaps parents ought to be a little more understanding also and not demand too much even though our society has become seemingly affluent, as expenses have also increased very much at the same time, whether or not through one's extravagance. I know of one colleague, whose semi-retired mum demanded they buy her a car, even though they are just a middle class family.

Lastly, another question I'm wondering about is, do parents these days (those in their 20s to 30s), still have the expectation of their children supporting them in old age, notwithstanding Asian culture or values?

[Nimbus]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Lastly, another question I'm wondering about is, do parents these days (those in their 20s to 30s), still have the expectation of their children supporting them in old age, notwithstanding Asian culture or values?

I'm in the 20s so this is what I feel - As long as I'm working, I don't mind if they don't give allowance. Of course I'm happier if they give. Firstly, I can survive on my own with regular income and savings. Secondly, I understand how expensive things are; like HDB, transportation, food and etc. However, I'll expect them to take care of me when I'm unable to work (be it retired or handicap). Taking care doesn't necessary mean money only. It can be spending time together, a cup of coffee at kopitiam. That's all I ask for.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

wtf... you get a 200k allowance from your parents and still have the cheek to say you "pay for the cable and phone". you are one hell of a spineless good-for-nothing.

at least you realize you're spineless.... there are many others who don't.

no harm if parents are rich and obviously can afford to just give 200k present to their beloved son. why do u give a s***? paying for cable and phone is just a small way of repaying kindness, it's the thought that counts. how much u give them huh? 20$ a month?