How much $ do you give your parents every month?

Hi hi,

Every family is different and then there is the generational / educational factor. For example, the mental model of my parents' generation was to have the children look after them in their old age, financially and otherwise. The trend then was to have many children in the hope that at least one if not all would do well enough to take care of them. Many people of that generation also tended to have lower education. So I supposed they also earned less and depending on their children for support was the only practical choice.

Fast forward to my generation (in our 50s to early 60s), the mental model of the better educated ones is now to be financially independent in our retirement years. We recognized that our children will face a more competitive work environment with high cost of living. And we don't want to add to their burden, to have to depend on them for financial support. What we wished for is for our children to independent and successful in their lives. Any allowances from them are just icing on the cake.

However, for the lower educated ones among my peers, I understand their mental model is the same as my parents' generation. They still depend on their children for financial support. I know it is tough on the children. I know because I supported my aged parents and children. That is why I am very determined to be financially independent of my children when I retire. They should not have to be burdened in this respect.

Having said that, do not cause your parents grief. Try and understand them and their needs. After all they brought you up.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hi there,

I would like to think my parents are just like you. But i think it really differs from parents to parents.. Both my parents are not working I give them 700 a month.

I have to say I really dont spend that much. Most of the money are used to finance my housing loan, insurance. But recently I told them I m intending to go for a overseas trip with my friends and my parents replied saying how do i get so much money to go for trips. If i have money for trips i should contribute more to the household instead..

On top of that, I have observed my parents at home once when i was on MC. They basically just watch tv, sleep and do minimal housework but they like to make me go out and buy things and do chores for them and scold me for not helping out for housework when i return home each day really tired from work.

Much as i think they might really need more money because they are not working. Their attitude makes me feel reluctant to do so. Not sure if anyone experience the same?

both parent not working

me n bro total give $1600 to parent/mth

me earn high 3k, bro earn low 3k

I give $800 a month. During a period when I was unemployed for 9 mths, I still continue to give $800 a month. My problem should not become their problem.

[gingerbreadb0y]

I wanna make it a point that I will contribute 20% of my take home income to my parents but it seems that if I were to do that, my initial plan of capital building will be severely handicapped ... Any advice? (I wanna build captial quickly but yet not compromising my parents' allowance) =D

Originally Posted by gingerbreadb0y

I wanna make it a point that I will contribute 20% of my take home income to my parents but it seems that if I were to do that, my initial plan of capital building will be severely handicapped ... Any advice? (I wanna build captial quickly but yet not compromising my parents' allowance) =D

contribute 10% instead.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

contribute 10% instead.

what type of advice you want?

Either way also will affect your initial plan what.

You have to choose one. Its mutually exclusive,, unless you wanna try earn extra bucks.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Hi there,

I would like to think my parents are just like you. But i think it really differs from parents to parents.. Both my parents are not working I give them 700 a month.

I have to say I really dont spend that much. Most of the money are used to finance my housing loan, insurance. But recently I told them I m intending to go for a overseas trip with my friends and my parents replied saying how do i get so much money to go for trips. If i have money for trips i should contribute more to the household instead..

On top of that, I have observed my parents at home once when i was on MC. They basically just watch tv, sleep and do minimal housework but they like to make me go out and buy things and do chores for them and scold me for not helping out for housework when i return home each day really tired from work.

Much as i think they might really need more money because they are not working. Their attitude makes me feel reluctant to do so. Not sure if anyone experience the same?

I experience the same, so I told my then BF that I wish to move out, rent a place of my own. we end up marrying and bought our 1st house.
This was 1 yr after I came out to work. I contribute 500 mthly

Here's the deal. I give my parents around 2k (RM 5,000) each month, excluding travels and living costs when they come over. I earn about 9k sgd (50k+ hkd, 8k after tax). I don't have kids but I have a gf that I plan to marry soon. Both my parents aren't working.

When I was growing up, I always thought that our family was pretty well off. My parents never spoilt me, I never had anything lavish. I wore hand me downs, studied in government schools, never had the latest hand phones nor designer clothes (I remembered buying my first hand phone which I worked for in high school. My dad accused me of stealing his money and smashed my phone on the floor.) My parents were living pretty luxuriously. Driving merc and sport cars (we had 7 cars at one time), traveling around the world, buying luxury items like Rolexes, Channel bags. However, I am grateful that they paid for my university education overseas which I am sure can be pretty expensive.

The thing that I came to realize was that my parents have been living the lifestyle but did not have a retirement plan. Well.. actually I am the retirement plan. My dad has retired 10 years ago with only savings. He does not have any income from investment or businesses. Although they have tone down a bit on their spending ways, they are still trying to maintain the lifestyle that they once had. I am the only son, and I have a younger sister that I would have to put through university next year.

I have not bought a house yet, nor am I confident that I have enough for a marriage. Although I love my parents, and I try as much as I can to help them out, it is a burden on my future. I work in Hong Kong, but my girlfriend is in Melbourne, two of the most expensive cities in the world. I plan to buy a house there and I fly over maybe once or twice a month. Other than this, I don't spend much on anything else, and I am very conservative about spending my money on unnecessary brand items. I buy them for gifts but I use a $20 wallet.

What I'm looking for is an opinion. What do you guys think? I know it's filial to provide for my parents, but what if you are trying to build your own family, however your parents are still trying to maintain a lifestyle that they once had.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Here's the deal. I give my parents around 2k (RM 5,000) each month, excluding travels and living costs when they come over. I earn about 9k sgd (50k+ hkd, 8k after tax). I don't have kids but I have a gf that I plan to marry soon. Both my parents aren't working.

When I was growing up, I always thought that our family was pretty well off. My parents never spoilt me, I never had anything lavish. I wore hand me downs, studied in government schools, never had the latest hand phones nor designer clothes (I remembered buying my first hand phone which I worked for in high school. My dad accused me of stealing his money and smashed my phone on the floor.) My parents were living pretty luxuriously. Driving merc and sport cars (we had 7 cars at one time), traveling around the world, buying luxury items like Rolexes, Channel bags. However, I am grateful that they paid for my university education overseas which I am sure can be pretty expensive.

The thing that I came to realize was that my parents have been living the lifestyle but did not have a retirement plan. Well.. actually I am the retirement plan. My dad has retired 10 years ago with only savings. He does not have any income from investment or businesses. Although they have tone down a bit on their spending ways, they are still trying to maintain the lifestyle that they once had. I am the only son, and I have a younger sister that I would have to put through university next year.

I have not bought a house yet, nor am I confident that I have enough for a marriage. Although I love my parents, and I try as much as I can to help them out, it is a burden on my future. I work in Hong Kong, but my girlfriend is in Melbourne, two of the most expensive cities in the world. I plan to buy a house there and I fly over maybe once or twice a month. Other than this, I don't spend much on anything else, and I am very conservative about spending my money on unnecessary brand items. I buy them for gifts but I use a $20 wallet.

What I'm looking for is an opinion. What do you guys think? I know it's filial to provide for my parents, but what if you are trying to build your own family, however your parents are still trying to maintain a lifestyle that they once had.

You are not the answer or remedy to their mistakes.

If you want to support their lifestyles at your own expense, do not blame them for where you will be 20 years later when you feel you have short-changed yourself.

There will be no one to blame but yourself here.

A calculator never lies. You have your goals, and your dreams, and those are important as well, and if your parents really care about you, it will be important to them too.

Lay everything out, and share it with them, and get them to understand why you can only contribute X amount to them, because you have goals, and those need to be met too.

For me, I earn SGD12K per month and I give my parents $800/month. It is not because I am not filial (the money is consistently given by internet transfer which is scheduled every month).

But my parents are aware of the challenges that our generation face. An apartment used to be 25X my parents pay, but is now about 40X my current pay. Everything has appreciated, and some is appreciating more than the rate of inflation.

So, it all boils down to what you want to achieve, and how you are going to get there. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

Originally Posted by Unregistered

From a parent's perspective. My daughter started working 2 months ago, taking home around $2.5k. She dutifully gave me and my wife $200 each.

As a parent, this is a proud moment, signifying another important milestone in life where your offspring becomes a contributing member to society. As working parents, the allowance we receive from our child is not material, as we are not dependent on it. However it warms our heart for the filial piety shown by our child. We will be saving all her contributions to us for her future. We will receive the money graciously and gratefully as we know how much it means to her.

Even when we retire, we will be financially independent because of the passive income stream we built up. We didn't tell her to give us any allowance, it was out of her own will. This makes it extra special.

I think many of you may not be aware, parents are touched most by filial children. It is not the amount per se. Contribute what you can reasonably afford, but most importantly be around to talk to them, keep an interest in their lives - these things are priceless. If your parents don't need your money, you can rest assured that the money will come back to you when they are gone.

I really hope all parents think that way, but sadly, not all parents think the same way as you do... When I was taking home around 2K, I gave my parents 500... and my parents still complained that it's peanuts. If I spend money on things I like, they never fail to mention that I still owe them money. And seriously, I've never thought of wanting to inherit whatever they have anyway. But they constantly remind me that if I don't listen to them or obey their wishes (which can be quite unreasonable), I won't be able to get their money.