Firstly, thank you.
Let me see if i understand what you are saying.
Is your point that she should be given chance to get the best degree available with support from her father since this will max her job potential and thus give her the max earning potential in the future ? And do you agree that 0.5 million is a lot of money ?
If so, then my question is - do parents always have to give such money to children whenever they want ? And do such children only love their parents because they give them such large amounts of money ? (i am using the word love here because you mentioned that she hates her father just because he did not give her the money to support her and to me 0.5 million is a lot of money)
My humble view is that when children start demanding huge amount of money like half a million from parents for their education, wedding, first home etc, i think parents can disagree even if they have this money. If you dont agree, well ... when you have that money, and your children starts to ask you for such large sums of money, you can prove it with your actions that you will give such money and i will be first to shake your hand to say, well done ! And I really hope your investment yields the dividends you expect.
When you are a parent, your view kind changes. You love your kid and personally, i will give a lot to my kids for them to develop qualities i think are good. But at times, i will not give in to my kid demands because i dont think that route that they have chosen (despite having a kid convinced that is the best) will develop these qualities. When such tension exist, it is hard to say who is right. But my view now is as long as i have given my kid something that is already beyond the middle class standard (and this very subjective i know) then my own personal conviction is that i have not short changed my kid. It may not be what she expected, but if she/he has what it takes, she will find a way to get what she wants without my further support. And there is only so far a responsible parent should go to support his children. Otherwise, we are just growing a bunch of spoilt rich brats with supposedly top brains but no character.
So finally, my point really is dont belittle parents for being a skinflint.
This has been a good discussion, and i think you also understand what i am saying because i have gathered you are really smart and intelligent from your replies. If i have offended you, then my sincere apologies.
I wish you well, and i know you will succeed in many things. I will hope to learn more from other such discussions, but i think i will stop here for this topic. I will happy to hear else what you have to say, but pardon me if i dont reply further. Thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
Getting into medicine at NUS is very difficult. In fact, much more difficult than getting into medical school in the UK and could be as hard as getting into Harvard. So being a top student in a top JC is definite not "no worry". The issue isn't having a recognized degree, but a top degree.
The best employer in Singapore is no longer necessarily the Government or local firms, but the top international firms. Do you think that a foreign bank will employ a NTU accounting graduate as readily as a Wharton graduate? Do you think a top international law firm will hire a SMU Law graduate as readily as a Harvard or Cambridge Law graduate?
As for scholarship, if the father can afford the $500K, why deprive some other poor person of a scholarship? Besides, its not really a true scholarship because Government scholarships comes with forced servitude in the form of a bond. Even medical doctors are known to commit suicide over the slavery to their bonds. For some bright people, enforced work for some inept Government agencies can be torture. But yes, she is still trying for a Government scholarship even though she knows she will be bonded. Foreign universities used to give out bond-free scholarships, but these have dried up due to the global financial crisis.
But you've actually hit the nail on the head as the father thinks very similarly to you. He says that if he made it to MD at a local bank with a local degree, why should he pay for his children's foreign degree. My view is that if he can afford it he should do it because Singapore has changed and people with good foreign degrees have an advantage in life. But his nature is to be a scrooge and he won't do it. He can't take all the money with him to the grave so why not spend it on his child's dreams. I suppose with four kids, he can afford to have one of them hate him. |