[lazyplane]

Honestly, the internet is not a forum for you get good answers.

Having said that, this is what i will do

a. Talk to senior people I respect and is close enough to understand my family context. not from direct family ie dad/mom as this is too close to heart to be clear.

b. Draw up a clear plan of what you define as being successful after all this.

c. Ask your wife to do the same for b.

d. Sit down with wife to get alignment of both your plans. Marriage takes both hands to clap. And this is the start of that long journey. To be successful in negotiation, i will bring her to a nice place which i know she will enjoy before i broach the topic. If she is too heated up, stay calm. One party has to learn to be the adult in the relationship.

Originally Posted by Devjyoti

Background

Age 31+,
Education: Economics graduate from India, Masters in Accounting & Finance from Australia, CPA in Singapore
Job History: 7 years in Singapore, worked in two of the big four followed by job in a bank as product controller/risk
Job Status: Job is moving to Pune & Poland
Salary: Little less than 100k per annum, has been stagnant for two years
Marital Status: Married, wife, age 27 +, is a homemaker & unlikely to get a job
Social Life: Friends make 2.5 times what I make,
Residency Status: Here on EP, PR application rejected thrice, most friends' PR

Family Background in India: Very well off family, dad owns multi million dollar property in India which he rents out, dad is very keen I return to India, I'm the only child. Mom wants me to do what I like

Wife is also an only child, she too comes from a reasonably well off background. She and her parents too are keen that I move back to India.

There are reasonable job opportunities in India for both me & my wife.

I want to continue living in Singapore, as my salary is stagnating, I hope to go to do an MBA from a top B school (this was a long cherished dream of mine). After my MBA, I don't want to do consulting as there's no life, but hope to get some better paying job.

Wife and wife's father(he's quite successful in the corporate world in India) feel I'll be too old as an MBA graduate at 34-34 besides all my friends' would have moved up even more in those two years and I'll be left stagnating even more after the MBA.

I had hoped that my wife could perhaps find a job and remain behind in Singapore with that job, so that I can come back & job hunt on her Dependent Pass, she refuses to do this, her parents got furious with this suggestion, they said that like all Indian men, I should've first completed my education before getting married, and if I had plans to do this MBA, I should've married at 35 post this MBA.

I hadn't mentioned to my wife that I had plans to do an MBA before I married her, we had an arranged marriage, the topic of my friends' MBA & her cousins' MBA had come up in a few conversations, I hadn't mentioned my own plans of the MBA then.

We have completed one year of marriage, my wife now says its time we start trying for a baby, as she wants to be a mother before 30, and I am old enough as some of my friends' are already fathers.

I feel I just can't afford a child yet and don't know if/when I will be able to afford one in Singapore. I can easily afford one in India if I lived with my parents.

Her parents too are very keen on a grandchild, her old grandparents too are anxious to be great grandparents.

We had heated arguments on this topic, I had told her that she should've asked me if I want to do an MBA, also she should have told me if she wanted a child early, she says that when a 26 year old woman marries a 30 year old man, she assumes he's completed his education (she says like all my friends' have completed their education) & will settle into family life in a few years, rather than now do a full time MBA, & that if such a man is stagnating, he should move to another city or country instead.

Should I move back to India in this scenario?