Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered
Here's the deal. I give my parents around 2k (RM 5,000) each month, excluding travels and living costs when they come over. I earn about 9k sgd (50k+ hkd, 8k after tax). I don't have kids but I have a gf that I plan to marry soon. Both my parents aren't working.
When I was growing up, I always thought that our family was pretty well off. My parents never spoilt me, I never had anything lavish. I wore hand me downs, studied in government schools, never had the latest hand phones nor designer clothes (I remembered buying my first hand phone which I worked for in high school. My dad accused me of stealing his money and smashed my phone on the floor.) My parents were living pretty luxuriously. Driving merc and sport cars (we had 7 cars at one time), traveling around the world, buying luxury items like Rolexes, Channel bags. However, I am grateful that they paid for my university education overseas which I am sure can be pretty expensive.
The thing that I came to realize was that my parents have been living the lifestyle but did not have a retirement plan. Well.. actually I am the retirement plan. My dad has retired 10 years ago with only savings. He does not have any income from investment or businesses. Although they have tone down a bit on their spending ways, they are still trying to maintain the lifestyle that they once had. I am the only son, and I have a younger sister that I would have to put through university next year.
I have not bought a house yet, nor am I confident that I have enough for a marriage. Although I love my parents, and I try as much as I can to help them out, it is a burden on my future. I work in Hong Kong, but my girlfriend is in Melbourne, two of the most expensive cities in the world. I plan to buy a house there and I fly over maybe once or twice a month. Other than this, I don't spend much on anything else, and I am very conservative about spending my money on unnecessary brand items. I buy them for gifts but I use a $20 wallet.
What I'm looking for is an opinion. What do you guys think? I know it's filial to provide for my parents, but what if you are trying to build your own family, however your parents are still trying to maintain a lifestyle that they once had.
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You are not the answer or remedy to their mistakes.
If you want to support their lifestyles at your own expense, do not blame them for where you will be 20 years later when you feel you have short-changed yourself.
There will be no one to blame but yourself here.
A calculator never lies. You have your goals, and your dreams, and those are important as well, and if your parents really care about you, it will be important to them too.
Lay everything out, and share it with them, and get them to understand why you can only contribute X amount to them, because you have goals, and those need to be met too.
For me, I earn SGD12K per month and I give my parents $800/month. It is not because I am not filial (the money is consistently given by internet transfer which is scheduled every month).
But my parents are aware of the challenges that our generation face. An apartment used to be 25X my parents pay, but is now about 40X my current pay. Everything has appreciated, and some is appreciating more than the rate of inflation.
So, it all boils down to what you want to achieve, and how you are going to get there. If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.