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  #17674 (permalink)  
Old 29-08-2022, 11:18 PM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
He's not worried about who you are now but what you may become in the future.

Let me be brutally honest. Very few guys want to be with fat or pudgy girls (unless they have a fat fetish). Simply put, of all the things a woman can do to not be unattractive, being "not fat" is like the most basic prerequisite. It's like having a PSLE cert. Literally the basic thing you need to do.

You're young now and your metabolism is high. Just wait for a few more years. The unhealthy lifestyle will catch up to you. He's also probably thinking how you will look after marriage and when you have kids. He's not going to stay with you if you let yourself go, which many women do after they think that they've secured a husband.

This is a guy who is looking at the future "you", not just the present "you". It is by all measures a laudable mindset.

So, stop making excuses and start changing your life. There are many women lawyers who're able to juggle work, family and maintaining their health and bodies. Stop hiding behind work. It's easy to hide behind how supposedly busy a lawyer's job is. But your bf can see thru your excuses - you're already 5PQE. At this level, you have some experience and skills to sufficiently manage your time by anticipating what's needed, managing workload expectations etc.

If you ask yourself honestly, for all the hours you put in your job, staying sedentary and unhealthy is probably the easiest thing for you right now - it's literally within your default comfort zone as you've had 5-6 years to get used to being always busy.

Make an effort to push out of this status quo if you value the relationship, otherwise he'll walk.
Why are you lambasting her for her boyfriend’s inferior socio-economic status?

Clearly, the boyfriend is uncomfortable with her superiority that he’s trying to suppress her in all ways. In fact, it sounds like the boyfriend has NPD. He blames her for his incompetence and inability to earn more, gaslights her and emotionally blackmails her.

Why should she give up what she enjoys and wants to do, and has worked so hard for, for this boyfriend who sounds too immature to handle the relationship with her? In fact, if she gives up what she’s doing for him, the likelihood of him dumping her is very high. Such men will not see her giving up what she loves for him as a form of sacrifice. He will think she ought to be grateful that she’s given a chance to keep him.

If she were my daughter, I would tell her not to walk, but RUN asap from this boyfriend from hell. If he values the relationship, he would not say all these hurtful stuff to her and entrap her with difficult decisions. She deserves a better, compatible and supportive boyfriend.
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