[JAYJBL]

Hi everyone, this is a personal struggle of mine that I would like to share. I would greatly appreciate any advice and new perspectives.

I just started my first year of med sch locally. 2 months into the course, I realised that I hated studying about pathology and everything that could go wrong with the human body. A common quote is that knowledge is power. However, I felt that ignorance was bliss. Learning about all the ways our human body could go wrong gave me very bad anxiety and caused me a lot of fear. I would constantly relate what I was learning to my own body and I just felt it was depressing in nature to know about all of these things. I realized I would rather not know about them. This was something that I never thought would occur to me and hence was not something I considered during my decision to apply for medical school. It made me miserable and very unhappy. I also felt very bad about the people that get sick. In a sense, seeing sick people made me depressed, anxious, and miserable. I was stupid for having not thought this through.

As such, I am thinking about dropping out of medical school two months in and breaking the MOHH bond. I am thinking about transferring to computer science or chemistry, since chemistry was my favorite subject while studying for the A levels. I would try to sign up for teaching if I took chemistry.

I would like to hear any perspectives on this matter. I consider this to be the biggest crossroad in my life and would appreciate any advice, as to whether my problem is something that can be resolved, or something which is so critical I would be better dropping out. Thank you so much.

A confused y1 medical student