I know how you feel. I was doing very well working for a BB. Friends and family were very proud and I was always happy to attend the regular family gatherings. Had alot of younger relatives looking up to me. Parents talked about me amongst the older generation etc etc. I felt proud. Top of the world.
I made a decision and jumped ship to another American IB, thinking that the brand name was more prestigious.
Then, everything changed in 2007. Firm went bankrupt & got bought over.
My first thought when I got retrenched was "how am I going to face my friends and family?" That was the hardest thing that hit me. I had to tell a few close people. Word got around eventually. Friends and family know. Former classmates.. etc etc.
It wasn't long when people started to show concern. That was one of the **** things in my life. I was already grappling with the bruised ego of losing my job. Their words of concern just felt like slaps on the face. There was a period I wanted to avoid everyone I know. Soon, I ran out of excuses. I used to say things like "It is okay.. it is just temporary" "already in discussions with several people keen to hire me." Then, when time passed and I still couldnt get a job I had to use more creative excuses: "I decided to take a break from work.. spend more time with family.. anyway I earned alot of money / savings, dont need to work actually". Reached a point of time I felt so tired of finding excuses.
The tipping point came when I decided enough was enough. I stopped lying to others and to mysef. It was just too tiring. During this period I also realised who my true friends were. Learnt alot of valuable lessons in life which I shan't rant about here.
When the economy turned around sharply in 2010, I got back into IB. I was infused with a different type of Pride. This new pride came from the knowledge that I don't need to rely on my job, big house, fancy car and high pay to feel good about myself. Not afraid to lose my job again as I have gone through it once before.
All the best. What goes down will come up. I'm sure you will be flying high again in no time.
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Originally Posted by Ex I banker
Thanks for all the advice.
What pains me is the swallowing of pride. I have to face not only friends but my family and relatives. They always look up upon me as the role model, someone all my younger relatives aspire to be. Big house, big luxury sedan. Expensive holidays. I have saved and invested but these will not be enough for me to retire on, unless I lower my status as a HDB dweller. This is even tougher to do. Sometimes I feel it is not such a great thing to be a success as when you fall, you fall hard. I think I will just take the $130k a year job and keep a low profile in my life. Is this karma? What have I done? Maybe I was so caught up with my success that I have little time to spare for the poor destitutes. I must do more charity I suppose. Yes, swallow my pride. To hell with status and wealth. Noone owes me a living. I need to really work on my emotions. |