You should do both. THey aren't mutually exclusive. Here's some tips on dealing with support staff from someone who's just in the middle category:

1. Secretaries aren't your friends
2. Assume tt what you say to one will be told to all
3. Be polite at all times so that nobody can take issue with your conduct towards them
4. Thank them whenever they do something for you, even if you don't mean it
5. If they deliver poorly on their admin tasks, throw it back to them to re-do. Don't rectify it for them because it set a bad precedent! Be polite but firm
6. Don't take sides in a bitch fight between secretaries
7. There's no need to demand their respect
8. Don't eat lunches with them or ask to join in a gathering of support staff. It is equivalent to an equity partner asking to join in a bunch of trainees/junior associates.
9. The only non-work-related social gathering you should have with support staff is in a team setting, involving other fee earners present as well
10. If they have a pattern of taking sick leave during crucial days/crunch times and you know they're abusing it, remind them that their absence is noticed