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Old 19-04-2020, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Hi, 30+ yo Singaporean male seeking genuine advice from the 40s-60s age group here. Professional finance job making 100k pa. Currently deciding between chasing two very different girls. First girl is diploma holder, secretary role, 小女人 type and submissive, earning 40k pa. Second girl is degree holder, a colleague in a similar role and ~100k pa pay (different office), career-minded, a little opinionated. I'm not big on looks, its just the personalities I'm interested in to form a family with. Both seem receptive to my wooing.

For those who has decades of married life experience, which girl would give a better shot at a successful and happy life in SG? I had NS friends who are happily married to foreign kampung-types brides and also some unhappy with marrying high-achieving types despite living in condos and driving conti cars. Thanks for sharing your life advice.
I have been happily married for over 30 years. Our two kids have graduated and are now working.

My wife and I stayed in the same halls at NUS. When we first started work 35 years ago, our salary were about the same and for some a few years, our salaries grew almost in tandem. When I went overseas to get a Masters degree, she quit her job to follow me and look after our children who were just 4 and 1 yo.

Because of that sacrifice, when we returned and my wife re-joined the workforce, her salary growth trajectory was affected. While my salary growth trajectory was quite steep (accompanying a few promotions along the way) her salary increment each year was very modest. A few years later, she went for her Masters degree and earned a promotion as well.
Our combined earned income is currently $500k pa and another $200k pa of passive income.

So is it good to marry a capable wife? Answer is a resounding yes. A capable wife :
1 keeps you on your toes,
2 challenges you to constantly improve yourself,
3. can hold meaningful debates on current affairs and other important matters
4. helps you cover "blind spots" in decision making whether in investment, career moves etc..
5. can help home tutuor your children all the way to uni. Both our kids dont have external tuition.
6. accelerates your wealth build up (my wife played a big part in our $200k pa passive income)
7 have a good network of equally capable friends that together can enhance your knowledge as well as in important contacts
8. removes the stress of being the sole bread winner in the family
9. brings with her, her own rich experience of work and life to enhance yours
10 can help contibute significantly in big investments like property purchases, stocks and others.

I count my blessings daily for a full and happy life, and my capable wife plays a huge part in it.

An important caveat here. If you are not able to match up to your wife's intellect, work ethic, capability and ambition, you will be very miserable. For example if you are a laid back bum with little ambition, you should know what kind of women to avoid in marriage.

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